Adam Houghton reflects on the third day of the Punchestown Festival where there were shades of Man City as Klassical Dream almost inevitably shone once again.
It was confirmed on Wednesday the 2023 Betfred Derby will be run at 1.30pm to avoid a clash with the FA Cup Final later that afternoon. It was an announcement that didn’t go down well with all racing fans, lots of whom probably have little interest in events at Wembley and don’t see why our sport’s showpiece event should move to accommodate it.
If you’re one of those people, then I’m going to warn you now that this article probably isn’t for you.
Why? Because this is my alternative take on day three of the 2023 Punchestown Festival, inspired by one of the most enthralling Premier League seasons in recent years, with perhaps the most significant development yet coming at the Etihad in midweek.
True, this wasn’t the Etihad, and the Gallagher brothers were nowhere to be seen, but I did see more members of the Mullins family than I can count and the weather conditions were what you’d typically expect in the north west of England - essentially the acid test of a cold and windy night at Stoke.
Some horses came out of it still in contention for leading honours this season, while others have suddenly seen their top-level status come under threat.
With 20 teams for 20 horses, settle in for Match of The Day and the full debrief on Thursday’s action...
1. Arsenal – SIRE DU BERLAIS (Third in the Champion Stayers Hurdle)
Somehow still top of the division when nobody expected anything from them at the start of the season. Big result went against them, but what a season it’s been regardless.
2. Manchester City – KLASSICAL DREAM (Winner of the Champion Stayers Hurdle)
Took a while to hit top stride this season but knows how to peak in April. One has won the Champion Stayers Hurdle three years in a row and the other is on the verge of three Premier Leagues in a row, both after a verdict over their closest rival in midweek. Very tough to beat at home, with Klassical Dream now 4-4 at the Punchestown Festival and City now 14-16 at the Etihad this season.
3. Newcastle United – EL FABIOLO (Winner of the Barberstown Castle Novice Chase)
Announced themselves on the big stage in no uncertain terms this season and as likely as any to take the sporting world by storm in years to come. Like Newcastle’s defence, good luck trying to get past El Fabiolo next season.
4. Manchester United – DINOBLUE (Winner of the pigsback.com Handicap Chase)
Danced every dance this season and in danger of becoming consistent after previous struggles. One has been to Cheltenham, Fairyhouse and Punchestown, with wins at the last two, while the other has a Carabao Cup in the bag with a much-maligned FA Cup Final on the way. Both owned by J.P. McManus at one time or another...
5. Aston Villa – KILBEG KING (Winner of the Conway Piling Handicap Hurdle)
Daring to challenge the established order. The Brits aren’t supposed to be able to beat the Irish on their home soil and Aston Villa aren’t supposed to intrude on the so-called ‘big six’. But these two are doing it and hats off to them, especially Anthony Honeyball, who now has three winners at this meeting from just nine runners in the last five years.
6. Liverpool – MONKFISH (Ninth in the Champion Stayers Hurdle)
Looked to have the world at their feet a couple of years ago but injuries and the passing of time have derailed their championship ambitions. Could yet scale the heights again given a good summer, but the glory days of yesteryear suddenly seem a long time ago.
7. Tottenham – DYSART DYNAMO (Runner-up in the Barberstown Castle Novice Chase)
Undoubtedly talented on their day but always appear to be one false step away from disaster. Could yet be a force at the top level if settling down, but don’t count on that happening anytime soon.
8. Brighton – TEAHUPOO (Fourth in the Champion Stayers Hurdle)
Impressed with his early-season form and plenty to be positive about despite falling away slightly when faced with their biggest tests towards the back-end of the campaign. Young talent in abundance and excited to see what they can do in 2023/24.
9. Brentford – BALLYBURN (Winner of the JP & M Doyle (C & G) Flat Race)
One is not even good enough to make Willie Mullins’ team for the Champion Bumper and the other is only the third-best team in London, but both are strong heats and it’s hard not to be impressed by how far this pair have come in a relatively short space of time. Do everything the right way and the future looks bright.
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10. Fulham – INDIE BELLE (Winner of the Close Brothers Irish EBF Mares Handicap Chase)
Perhaps not as good as they look on paper. Indie Belle won by 15 lengths but was gifted a clear lead by two fallers at the last, while Infogol’s xG model has Fulham as only the sixteenth-best team in the league. Possibly worth opposing in the short term.
11. Chelsea – ASTERION FORLONGE (Runner-up in the Champion Stayers Hurdle)
Massively underperforming on xG. Simply doesn’t put the ball in the back of the net as often as you’d expect for one with their ability and provides a massive puzzle for those in management.
12. Crystal Palace – ASHDALE BOB (Fifth in the Champion Stayers Hurdle)
Likeable but find it difficult to win things. Ashdale Bob has been placed seven times since registering his last success in April 2021, while Crystal Palace look destined for another season of mid-table mediocrity having finished between tenth and fifteenth in every year since being promoted from the Championship in 2012/13.
13. Wolves – CLEVER CURRENCY (Fourteenth the Specialist Group Handicap Hurdle)
Both are probably a shade too aggressive in front. One beat a hasty retreat at Punchestown after doing too much too soon at the head of affairs, while the other usually has Diego Costa leading the line. Need I say more?
14. West Ham – DOUGLAS TALKING (Runner-up in the pigsback.com Handicap Chase)
Impressed with recent run of form and all credit to the two Scots at the helm, Lucinda Russell and David Moyes. One already has a Grand National in the bag and the other can look forward to a huge semi-final in the... Europa Conference League?
15. Bournemouth – BROOMFIELD BIJOU (Winner of the Specialist Group Handicap Hurdle)
I was convinced Broomfield Bijou had been headed by By Your Side in the dying strides of the opener and I was convinced Bournemouth would be relegated this season. I’m happy to admit I was wrong in the first instance, less so in the second as a fan of a certain West Yorkshire club.
16. Leeds – SUMMERVILLE BOY (Seventh in the Champion Stayers Hurdle)
Oh Summerville Boy. Beloved by yours truly after he did me a nice turn in a Supreme a few years ago, but Elland Road hasn’t been a happy place of late and neither was Punchestown for this horse. As much as it pains me to say it, their days at the top level are starting to look numbered.
17. Nottingham Forest – VITAL ISLAND (Winner of the La Touche Cup Cross Country Chase)
Few things are harder to follow than the cross-country course at Punchestown, but the recruitment policy at Forest this season might just rival it. Vital Island does at least seem a safe conveyance around the banks – this was his second spin over them in three days – and that’s what it’s all about for Forest at this stage of the campaign. SAFETY FIRST!
18. Leicester – MASTER MCSHEE (Pulled-up in the Conway Piling Handicap Hurdle)
A fairytale Grade One winner at Limerick last season for Paddy Corkery, who only ran three horses under Rules in 2021/22. It had echoes of Leicester’s miracle Premier League win in 2015/16, but things have gone sour for both this season – Master McShee has finished well held in all three starts and the Foxes are on the brink of relegation.
19. Everton – HOLLOW GAMES (Fourth in the pigsback.com Handicap Chase)
Everton fans have been forced to sit through plenty of Hollow Games this season, watching an attacking line which lacks substance and has scored just 24 goals, the lowest tally in the league. The equine Hollow Games was looking goal shy himself before taking a step back in the right direction here, but the Toffees look like they’re going only one way and that’s down.
20. Southampton – BLAST OF KOEMAN (Fourth in the La Touche Cup Cross Country Chase)
Southampton could do with a Blast of Koeman this season. Ronald Koeman that is, the man who guided the Saints to do their highest-ever finishing position in the Premier League when sixth in 2015/16. Blast of Koeman ran okay here, which is better than can be said of Southampton’s efforts for much of a season which seems sure to end in relegation.
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