Ben Coley hands out his Masters awards after Jon Rahm's victory at Augusta National

The Happy Ending Award

In the end, it was simple: one of golf's big three won the Masters, and it was the Spanish one who did it on Seve's birthday for good measure.

It can be made to sound simpler still. Three players came here having separated themselves from the pack. One of them had to overcome the curse of the defending champion. One of them had to deal with the prospect of making history. The other was JON RAHM.

Rahm did all the things a Masters champion has to do, including staying patient when he fell four shots behind during the third round. He didn't appear to let the rain and its soaking of the course get to him and wasn't seen gesticulating or demanding a suspension in play.

And let's not forget that his tournament began with a four-putt double-bogey.

Four days later and Rahm was brilliant when presented with an opportunity he'd never had before. He barely missed a shot on the back-nine, continuing what to many is an unwelcome Masters trend, the one where we know who's won well before they've actually won.

Perhaps next year we'll get jeopardy. This year we have Jon. What a fabulous champion he is.

The Shot of the Week... Award

Cameron Smith from the sand on eight is the best shot anyone hit this week, at least in terms of outcome.

From 270 or so yards away and in the fairway bunker, Smith somehow hit it to 15 feet and holed the eagle putt. Yes, he needed a bit of luck, but the audacity to hit the shot and the skill to pull it off deserved no less than that.

He's in third place, because I can't tell you how much personal satisfaction I got from watching Shane Lowry's pitch to the 15th hole time and again. It wasn't Lowry's week but again we saw how much damage those hands of his can do at Augusta, or else how much danger they can avert.

But the shot of the week has to go to SAHITH THEEGALA, because it was just so joyous.

Long of the 16th green off the tee, Theegala hit that chip shot, the Tiger Woods one you've seen time and again, and the result was the same.

For a player making his Masters debut, one who has so endeared himself to fans over the past year or so, it was a beautiful moment which felt like reward for all of us towards the end of a largely miserable week.

The Alton Towers Award

Handed out for the biggest disappointment, this was a toss-up between Rory McIlroy and VIKTOR HOVLAND.

McIlroy probably ought to win it. He came into the event as favourite, his preparation had been ideal, he even landed on the right side of the draw, and a soft Augusta should've held no fears.

Then he played abysmally. What else can you say?

Justin Thomas's Saturday capitulation has to get a namecheck and so does Brooks Koepka, whose cloak of invincibility has long since been lost.

Koepka played the final 27 holes in five-over, making just three birdies. He did not make a single birdie away from a par-five on Friday or Saturday and it took until the 16th hole on Sunday to end that sorry run.

He'd be a worthy winner but I respect his comeback from the abyss, so I'm going to surprise the audience and opt for Hovland instead.

Starting the final round in third place and holing a clutch par putt at the first hole, Hovland was in the box seat when it came to asking questions of the leaders.

When his approach to the second was in the air, it looked for all the world like he'd have a big eagle chance, only for his ball to come up short. Three putts later and the start of the demise had begun.

Hovland clung on for a while then three-putted the sixth from nowhere. By the time his first birdie arrived, at the 13th, the game was up.

The LIV Golf Award

This one goes to the 54-hole hero, JORDAN SPIETH, who would've challenged the winning total in a world where golfers are allowed to cancel one of their rounds.

Spieth was five-over through 10 holes of his third round and that left him with a mountain to climb. Spieth being Spieth, he did that thing where he looks like he's only gone and climbed the bloody thing... only to hurl himself off and fall to a glorious death.

It was a fitting end, when it came. Spieth needed birdie at the last to post nine-under, a competitive target and no mistake, but drove it left so we could get one last photo of him hidden by trees.

He is an artist who has this game by the Jackson Pollocks on his day. No wonder he's so deeply in love with Augusta National. Can she keep swatting him aside and then beckoning him back to charge to a flirtatious top-five?

The Begrudging Applause Award

I'll confess: I've never been much of a PHIL MICKELSON man. I wasn't really fussed when he won his first Masters and basically hated him for it the third time. When he won the Open, my first one working on-site, I felt like I'd been denied a personal dream. To date the only time I can remember really wanting him to win a tournament was at Kiawah Island in 2021. Even that was because of other, entirely selfish factors.

My feelings towards him haven't exactly improved over the past year, either. To me it's felt like the mask has slipped somewhat. Boy was it back on during his post-round charm offensive on Sunday, an opportunity he'd earned with a spellbinding, Mickelsonian round of sheer bonkersness.

This is a man whose on-course exploits alone are pretty mad: amateur win, long major wait, Winged Foot, shots from hospitality tents, putting when the ball is still in motion, and so on. Throw in his off-course stuff concerning such people as Mohammed bin Salman, the FBI, Billy Walters, those shirt and coffee folks, and those who write the books have quite the job on their hands.

But how can you not admire the man's ability to turn up at Augusta, looking thin almost to the point of illness, having hit about seven good shots in 10 months, having skipped this tournament last year, and finish with five birdies in seven holes to post a competitive clubhouse target?

It was somehow fitting that the man who made no fuss whatsoever about staying comfortably ahead of Mickelson's score was his one-time protege, Jon Rahm, who could probably swallow him whole at the moment. Rahm is a very different player who many will assume is destined to do what Mickelson has not yet done and win all four majors at some stage.

Whether he does or doesn't, if he's still coming back here and making Sunday charges aged 52 it'll have been some career.

The Richard Blackwood Award

What are you doing here, RUSSELL HENLEY?

Yes, on a leaderboard largely featuring players who'd finished first or second in at least one major, Georgia's very own guitar-playing quiet man was for a long time the fly in the ointment. The spoiler. The one who would've had people insultingly but reasonably tweeting about how fitting a champion he'd be for a week that has tested everyone's patience.

The truth is he's built up an excellent Augusta record and, like so many of those in the mix, he'd been in front in a US Open even if he hadn't quite managed to see it through. And while I've still not forgiven him for shooting the joint-lowest round on day two having been selected to do that on day one, he's a player who will probably make the most of his invitation to return here next year.

In the intervening 12 months he'll do what he does, i.e. putt like he's never held a putter when strongly fancied and then win when nobody's watching. You have been warned.

The Skeletor Award

NICK FALDO gets the vote for someone I really do hope returns next year. Of course, from a playing perspective we'd be giving this to Theegala, who booked his return for next April with a charging top-10. But it's Sir Nick whose whereabouts I'm most interested in.

His retirement from the commentary box has been a huge blow to my viewing experience. He says some silly things at times and isn't always right, but his insight is unparalleled. It seems every commentator these days is an ex-player, but not every ex-player can really commentate. Faldo does so mightily and along with Butch Harmon helped elevate Sky Sports' package.

Faldo spends most of his time posting slightly awkward pictures to twitter these days, when he's not talking about his ranch or whatever it is. I really do hope that he can again find time to return to the booth/box/Zoom call next spring. Ideally he'd return before then, for the Open, but it's important that he remains a key part of the Masters broadcast, as Butch has been for so long now.

As for this award's title, please tell me you too are still haunted by Skeletor's brief reemergence at the end of Masters of the Universe? "I'll be back," he says. And while it's reasonable now, some 35 years later, to point out that Skeletor didn't actually come back, I'm pretty sure Sir Nick will.

The Please Take a Power Tool to My Skull Award

Continuing the skeletal/death theme, this one can only go to Dewalt's own PATRICK CANTLAY, who quite simply plays the game too slowly. He should be made to play it faster.

It is to the sport's detriment that it has become accepted to play golf at a pace the lads down in synonym corner say should be called glacial, only glacial does not nearly do it justice.

There are others. Amateur Sam Bennett would do well to remember he's got school tomorrow. But Cantlay appears to be most to blame for the fact that it is 2305 on Sunday night and the leaders have five holes still to play. They teed off three-and-a-half hours ago.

What's the solution? I don't know. But I reject the argument that this is just how long it takes now and that everyone does it so there isn't anything anyone can do. There must be something. So please do the something.

The Public Enemy Award

BROOKS KOEPKA and his caddie appear to have broken one of golf's many rules when they told Gary Woodland and his caddie what club they'd hit to the 15th green on Thursday.

It doesn't matter what the cover story is. What Woodland and his caddie decided to do based on the information they'd received is irrelevant. We have video evidence that strongly suggests that one caddie told another caddie something he wasn't allowed to tell him per the rules which govern the sport.

I don't care that this happens all the time off-camera. That's not a reasonable explanation, either. Video evidence suggests a rule was broken and no official has come forward and explained clearly why there was no penalty as a consequence. The best we've been given is that the message was aimed at an announcer, but I don't think anybody really believes it.

Bigger picture? Change the rule. Immediately. If everyone is breaking the rule, and the rule isn't being enforced when we have evidence as strong as this, it is no longer a rule. It's a bit of writing in a dusty old book. Tear out the page and make a paper swan or one of those clever hand game things you used to play at school. You know the ones, those things with messages or demands hidden under flaps with numbers or colours on. Make one of those out of rule 10.2a.

Or else do what Brookies and Gazza did and fight the power, one crafty hand signal at a time.

The Lifetime Achievement Award(s)

First, a quick nod to SANDY LYLE and LARRY MIZE, who both bowed out this week. Despite appearances I'm too young to have seen either at their best, but their contributions to the sport and this tournament are plainly huge.

Happy retirement. Enjoy the Champions Dinner and may I recommend Wordiply for a Wordle alternative.

Finally, a word on TIGER WOODS.

Yes, the weather made matters worse. Yes, it was an almighty effort to make the cut once more, extending a proud streak having never yet failed to do so at Augusta as a professional.

No, it isn't for anyone but Woods to decide when enough is enough. Besides, who among us would toss aside a lifetime invitation to play at Augusta National? Why is it acceptable for Vijay Singh or Mike Weir to come here and struggle, but not Woods?

Nevertheless, it's hard to escape reality. Woods' reality. He doesn't appear to have many of these left, not if he wants to be competitive rather than ceremonial. It would be a terrible shame if his final Masters contribution was a long approach shot in pouring rain at the 17th hole on a wet and miserable Saturday.

But the end will come, and when it does, we get to decide what to remember and what to forget. Woods won the last Masters to be truly exciting to the final hole and the more time that passes, the more remarkable a gift that seems. How on earth did he do it?