Graham Cunningham column on proposed fifth day at Cheltenham Festival

Pros and fans have had their say and GC brings an unlikely witness to the Cunningham File stand this week as Cheltenham ponders moving into the Fifth dimension.

All about the Money as Floyd lets fly

“They say it’s not all about the money. Well, your kids [racecourse group] can’t eat legacy. The patches [turnover] on my trunks [track] – that’s $30m alone – so who’s really the smartest one in the sport of boxing [racing]?

If you guys don’t wanna see me do no exhibition [fifth day], don’t come, don’t watch. I don’t care if you write good stories, I don’t care if you write bad stories.

All the guys that y’all said was extraordinary – the Canelos [Aintrees] and the Pacquiaos [Punchestowns] – I made ‘em look ordinary. And then when I sense a chance for me to do a heist, a quick heist, I’m the smart one.

They say ‘Oh, Floyd [Cheltenham] don’t look good like he used to look.’ But my bank account lookin’ better and better each and every day.”

Extra day hare off and running again

A cynic might suggest that changing ten simple words provides the perfect bridge between Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather’s reaction to his recent skirmish with YouTuber Logan Paul and Cheltenham’s ongoing approach to adding a fifth Festival day.

But the File strives to be a cynicism-free zone for the most part, especially when there is fun to be had with another round of five-day jawing.

First, and at the risk of that cynical strain surfacing, you have to smile at the way the latest incarnation of the debate was ushered back into the public arena.

This was no swaggering Mayweather entrance. No, all that was needed was a neatly timed Marcus Armytage Telegraph piece – popping up suspiciously soon after a five-day Royal Ascot bunfight ended – to set the Cotswolds hare running again. And boy does this hare run.

Five-day disciples out in force

Cheltenham aren’t saying much, nor do they need to once one of the most passionate fan bases in all of sport starts to get riled up.

But the anger of so many social media scribes was at odds with the reaction of several media figures who, in lockstep with the interests of the brands they represent, were mustard keen to welcome our five-day overlords.

Racing Post ‘What A Shout’ shouter Bruce Millington favoured a fifth day on the grounds of increased revenue and fan friendliness, while ITV's bushy tailed bro Oli Bell rallied troops with a “kick on I say” even as a cranky kettle of Twitter buzzards circled overhead.

Matt ‘Chappers’ Chapman came out swinging for a Saturday Gold Cup, but change is always divisive and the ‘Old Man Waves Fist At Clouds’ award was claimed not by Cheltenham reaction but by Julian Muscat’s mournful RP lament for what Ascot has become since the switch to seven-race cards.

Melancholic Musky pines for the old days

"To borrow a revolting phrase so beloved of the toffs, it is mutton dressed as lamb,” read the RP Twitter teaser.

Hopes that Muzza was taking his flamethrower to Ascot fashionistas came to nothing but he certainly singed a host of recent new developments including:

• “Unfathomable” handicaps – Many of which were fathomed out nicely by punters.
• “A pronounced draw bias” - That really wasn’t a bias to anyone watching closely.
• “Those Insatiable HK punters” – C’mon man.
• “ITV broadcasting every race live”- Seriously?
• And, bizarrely, the fact that a host of riders tasted Royal success for the first time.

“Royal Ascot of yore is gone, gone, gone," wailed melancholic Muscat. And, breaking news, Cheltenham of yore may be going, going, going. But which direction is it going in?

Old and new essential if extra day is added

What I think about a five-day Fez doesn’t really matter a jot. For what it’s worth, I don’t fancy it because the jumping jam is already spread way too thinly. But if a fifth day is inevitable then I wouldn’t mind seeing...

• A veterans’ chase. True, Vintage Clouds roared home to snag the Ultima aged eleven in March but oldies generally struggle and crafting a Festival fossils slot might produce a race that appeals to clear eyed punters and misty eyed romantics alike.
• The Gold Cup kept in its current slot. Yes, finishing on a high is seductive – but it won’t seem so sexy when the stars have to slog round a worn track then play second or third media fiddle to Premier League and Six Nations showdowns.
• The greyhound race brought back. Sorry, crap joke.
• But I do think Cheltenham ought to consider reviving the Charity race. The novelty contest raised bundles in its old format – when racing bods like Rishi Persad and Alex Hammond took part – but imagine if you gave the concept real star power.
• Groom a few sporting/showbiz celebs with crossover appeal; add engaging newcomers from diverse backgrounds; mix in a sponsor and cross promotion amid ITV’s daytime output; finally, find a suitable YouTuber to tempt that elusive youth audience and you have a ratings/good causes monster to set day five in motion.

As an ardent fan reared on Hearns, Hagler, Leonard and Duran it pains me to see that ratings monsters in modern boxing often involve circus matches between once-great fighters and fistic frauds with fanatical Insta and TikTok followings.

But following the money has served Floyd mighty well down the years. And, hate it or love it as Cheltenham and Ascot move through a second year of financial turmoil, you shouldn’t need a Mayweather Man to know which way this wind blows.