Cheltenham Sunday review: David Ord reflections from the track

Not a drop of alcohol has passed or even bypassed these lips over the course of the weekend, but I did have to question myself as I looked up at the big screen shortly after Ace Of Spades had won the opener here at Cheltenham.

For there, staying on steadily into third up the most famous hill in racing, behind the Nutella Bear and the artist simply known as Donkey, was Hey Duggee.

My daughter has now moved onto CBBC from Cbeebies but many a morning over the previous five years had been saved by the big friendly dog and his posse of Roly, Norrie, Happy, Tag and Betty.

So I was completely bereft to see him settle for minor honours behind a corporate brand and a rival who was literally named after his costume.

Are there any fairytales left in this great game? Even in the Mascot races the superpowers have strengthened their grip.

There aren’t any fairytales on the breakfast front in Evesham either. To be fair, I was intrigued by the ordering system – ten items laid out on a piece of paper with a box next to each. All you had to do was request what you want – up to seven pieces.

So the expulsion tool was quickly brandished to the mushroom and vegan sausage, but I felt I needed a little more advice. I received it from a very friendly server who stressed that if you want two slices of bacon, say, you need to put a 2 in that box – and that counts as two of your seven.

“Do I need to individually allocate the baked beans too?” I beamed.

“No.” And with that she was off and no longer quite so friendly. Seven items arrived, none were finished, and I was at the racecourse by 9.45.

It was a glorious drive on a wonderful autumn morning until Michael Ball played Lost Without You by Freya Ridings on Sunday Love Songs and I arrived in the car park an emotional wreck.

It was quieter today, a family crowd, a lovely atmosphere. I had a wander around the Shopping Village.

It was full of kids carrying brilliant walking pet balloons, lots of dads carrying one too and casting glances at mum that suggested they knew this would happen all along. You try drinking a pint of Guinness and putting a bet on while a foot-long helium-filled llama with paper legs clatters relentlessly against you.

If you’re looking for a woman’s hat with a feather on it – you need to get here. You’ve hundreds to go at – maybe thousands. There's a sheep entirely made of wool, that was popular. Jewellery, tweed, even for the pre-school ages. It’s all here.

As I came out Peaky Boy was returning after winning the novices' handicap chase to “Robert De Niro’s Waiting” by Bananarama.

Nicky Henderson wasn’t. He was already in full flow with the press by the time I glided, or waddled, over but I did hear the line he had “so many more lovely novice chasers ready to go”.

That was great news. I have him down to fill 25-to-28 on my top 100 list of Grade One British prospects in the division for David Jennings. Be great if he could stretch that to 30, actually.

Willy Twiston-Davies reckons Matata will stretch to two-and-a-half miles now his aggression is controlled. He wants to come back here for the December Gold Cup. Father Nigel has his sights set on the Betway Queen Mother Champion Chase. Anthony Bromley, over to you.

Great to see the Sporting Life silks in the Cheltenham winners’ enclosure. With Simon Munir and Isaac Souede both absent I hung around in case I was required to go up and receive the trophy. I wasn’t.

I walked back through the Guinness Village where the band played Irish classic after Irish classic, past the Moet & Chandon bar where a trio were treating drinkers to Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.

I drew the line at seeing how the Klub Kidz Disco was going as I still have PTSD from co-hosting a recent seventh birthday party, the mental scars from which still burn bright long after the physical ones healed.

Burdett Road wins the Greatwood, another chance to marvel at the skills of trainer James Owen, plus his hair and wardrobe.

The Gredleys have been bold in the horses they’ve taken a shot at the winter game with under his care and are being rewarded. Horse and trainer will both go higher.

And then you're reminded of how cruel the sport can be. You think of Bangers And Cash and the all-the-way winner Abuffallosoldier suffering cardiovascular episodes and not returning home after the Holland Cooper Handicap Chase; you learn that Napper Tandy's fall in the Greatwood was fatal.

You think of the holes they leave behind for connections and those who looked after them. We're reminded of the tremendous highs and crushing lows an afternoon of racing can provide. And there’s a sickening feeling in the stomach that those who love the sport both know and dread.

And you drive home and get ready for the Betfair Chase day at Haydock and the next stop on the merry-go-round. The first Grade One of the domestic season.

It should be some contest. And I can provide my own breakfast, too.

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