The Ashes: Takeaways from first Test in Perth as Brendon McCullum's Bazball approach falls flat

McCullum the myth?

I’ve always wondered about these PR agencies. Who are they and what do they actually do for their money?

I wonder if they could help me out, soften up Mrs Mann after I told her Jamie Smith was sure to pay for next year’s summer holiday to Tenerife when leading the total match fours market after the first innings of the first Test. They’d need to be bloody good.

Mind you, Brendon McCullum must have a crack PR team working for him.

It’s been just under four years since McCullum took over as England’s Test coach and Bazball swept the nation, but if you look past the hype and analyse the bare results, what has actually been achieved?

It is true that when McCullum took over, immediately after the last disastrous Ashes tour of 2021/2022, England needed some light, some hope – and the charismatic Kiwi provided that in spades. He got the Test team playing good cricket again, an ultra-attacking approach that made everyone smile. It was beautiful.

The base was very low, however, that must be said. Anything was going to be an improvement on the darkness of the Covid-19 pandemic, and Chris Silverwood’s negative style of cricket that was ill-suited to many of the players in the set-up at that time – namely Jonny Bairstow, Jos Buttler and Ben Stokes.

But four years on, where is this England Test team? Has the side moved forward from that exhilarating first summer when New Zealand and a struggling South Africa were blown away?

It’s hard to argue it has. Winning in Pakistan that winter was a fantastic achievement, but one made possible by moderate opposition, and some incredibly flat pitches that England were certainly not afforded when they returned a couple of years later and spun to a series defeat.

Since then, series wins over the West Indies and Sri Lanka have been the best they have been able to muster, egos made bigger by thumping wins over inferior opposition.

But when they travelled away to India, they were found wanting, they couldn’t beat Australia at home in 2023, and then drew with India last summer in a series that while thoroughly entertaining, felt like another missed opportunity.

I’ve always struggled with the narrative that came out of that series. We were told it was a great one played between two strong sides, but India made the trip without recently-retired Virat Kohli, Rohit Sharma and Ravi Ashwin, Jasprit Bumrah only played three matches because he wasn’t fit, and Rishabh Pant broke his foot early in the fourth Test, meaning he and Bumrah missed the final match.

And yet England still couldn’t win the series, on their home patch. This wasn’t the achievement we were led to believe it was.

So, I circle back to the beginning, and find myself trying to think what has been the high point of McCullum’s tenure. What exactly has been the pinnacle of Bazball?

Beating New Zealand at home in 2022 perhaps, when Trent Boult and Tim Southee were coming to the end, and the Kiwis had Michael Bracewell as their first-choice spin bowler on three flat, dry pitches that offered very little seam and swing for the top two to work with.

If that’s it, the pick of Bazball’s achievements – and surely we are still operating in a results business – I’m not sure this is all it’s cracked up to be.

Bazball is a brand. A PR masterclass. But it doesn’t win many cricket matches, not big ones anyway, and it hasn’t yet won a meaningful Test series to justify the hype.

Extreme unders

I can moan about results all I like, but when I put my England shirt back in the wash basket and my patriotism aside for a moment, I have to say, I do love some elements of Bazball.

For those who bet on cricket, Bazball has been revolutionary. I would argue probably the best thing to happen to cricket betting since the emergence of the Betfair Exchange.

The swings and market fluctuations that you see in England Test matches are remarkable, consistently remarkable, and as I’ve argued many times before, trading on Bazball can be an absolute goldmine if you are willing to be contrarian and back the unexpected.

Day one in Perth was the perfect illustration. England closed the day as hard 1.63 favourites to win the match on the Exchange having just a session or so earlier found themselves in trouble and available to back at 6.2.

Being prepared to bet unders on England runs continues to prove very profitable.

In the first innings, 1.02 was matched on the Exchange for England to score 175 runs or more. Cue the collapse from 94-3 to 172 all out, leaving layers in clover.

At Lunch on day two, the England second-innings runs par line was around the 270 mark. They only managed 164, and that was only down to a handy partnership from bowlers Gus Atkinson and Brydon Carse.

There will, of course, be days when everything clicks for this dynamic batting line-up, when the going is good and the pitch flat, but they are always one wicket away from a collapse.

And when England fall, they fall hard.

Time to take responsibility

Cricket has been my life for as long as I can remember. Pre-marriage and kids, it was all I really cared about, and club cricket provided me with an education that school nor university was ever really able to match.

That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy drinking 10 pints of Snakebite for a tenner on a Saturday night in my Students Union, while dancing away to Chesney Hawkes. But out on the cricket field, with your mates, often punching above your weight and competing with better teams and better men, that’s where life’s most valuable lessons were learned.

Appreciating that good bowlers aren’t made on damp, green seamers when taking five wickets is a must, but that the important days are those hot, dry ones when the pitch is flat and the opposition batsmen hungry and unforgiving. Those days, when you grind away for 3-40 – those are what count most.

Or when the best player in the team accepts that he is the one who needs to get through the best bowler in the league with the new ball, just so those behind him have a better chance to impact the game and help the team. Or the tail-ender who bats for his mate, whatever the cost.

Even at club level, perhaps more so, people understand the need to take responsibility, not only for your own performances, but also for your teammates. And if you don’t, you can be sure there will be an ex-player walking the boundary rope, quick to let you know that you've let the side down. As it should be.

So, when Atkinson walked to the crease at 88-6 on Saturday, with Jamie Smith at the other end and England desperate to stem the ride, why did the Surrey fast bowler feel the need to have an almighty swipe at the very first delivery he faced from Mitchell Starc? And when he did, why wasn’t Smith marching down to him to give him hell?

Stay in the fight, stay with your partner, and help keep the Australians at bay.

Atkinson would go on to add a breezy 37, but just as in the first innings, Smith’s whole approach had to change once Stokes had departed and he was left with the bowlers who he clearly had little trust in.

And why, when someone like Mike Hussey speaking on this week’s episode of the Stick To Cricket podcast stressed the importance of not driving on the up in Perth, especially early in your innings, were Ollie Pope, Joe Root and Harry Brook all dismissed driving on the up shortly after the Lunch break on Saturday, and Zak Crawley in the first over?

I had to smile when I saw a comment on social media this morning from a former club batsman I played against many years ago. ‘Don’t drive in Western Australia unless it's a half-volley or it’s got a steering wheel.’ If Easingwold's finest knows this, and Perth local Hussey, along with pretty much everyone else, why don’t the best batsmen in England?

Back to the first innings if I may, when Smith was going great guns, Carse was inexplicably caught in the deep hooking when the boundary resembled the M1 on a Friday afternoon, given how many fielders were stationed out there. Just duck under it, or wear a few. Anything. Give your teammate some time and the chance to bat long enough to haul England to a score.

I thought that in both England innings, the passages of play involving Smith batting with the tail were telling. They didn't show this England team in a good light.

I can criticise the McCullum regime as much as I want. And some of the talk around the quality of Ben Stokes’ captaincy is at times nauseating. It often feels like an old boys’ club where any worthwhile analytical thinking has gone out of the window.

But while Bazball may well be part of the problem, Stokes less so, much of England’s batting issues come down to decision-making from the players themselves. Experienced players. There appears to be a refusal to think on their feet, to take responsibility in the moment, and do their best for the team when an act of selflessness is required.

We’ll find out in the coming weeks what England’s reaction is. Whether there are players in the group who are prepared to be accountable for the disaster in Perth, who will take some responsibility, or if they are dead-set on carrying on in the same manner that has seen them achieve very little in the way of meaningful Test match results.

If they don’t take a long, hard look in the mirror, this Ashes tour could unravel very quickly.

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