Ashes latest: Australia too strong for England despite Adelaide fightback

Sometimes you have to take your medicine, or as Brendon McCullum termed it earlier today, ‘cop it sweet’, when your opponent is as good as this Australia side.

As England’s last rites were being prepared at the beginning of day five in Adelaide, I found myself asking how it had come to this after just 11 days of Ashes cricket.

There is much to dissect from England’s point of view, and I’ve never believed Brendon McCullum would transform this team into a winning machine. It’s been a fun ride, for a short while anyway, but McCullum and his boss, Rob Key, are out of their depth.

That’s for another day, it seems, but it was heartening to see England show more fight and resolve in Adelaide, and a high level of skill, to take the game the distance, and for a brief period, even threaten to pull off a spectacular run chase.

Ben Stokes’ captaincy from a tactical standpoint has never been close to the level some nauseating media coverage over the last four years would have us believe, but boy, what a leader of men he is. And what a cricketer he is.

He was outstanding in England first innings when simply refusing to buckle, though Jofra Archer was even better, before Will Jacks again shone in another impressive batting rearguard that kept Australia at bay for so long.

But, in the end, Australia were simply irresistible. Their batting, much maligned before the start of the series, has just found ways to make runs, be it Travis Head making the unlikely switch to opener and responding with two hundreds in three games, Alex Carey’s golden run of form, or Mitchell Starc’s priceless cameos down the order.

Without Pat Cummuns and Josh Hazlewood to begin, the home bowling attack looked light on quality and Test-match experience, but they were still able to leave Nathan Lyon out of the starting XI in Brisbane and slap England silly with the same type of incisive, accurate seam and swing bowling that Key once argued doesn’t get you wickets in Test cricket.

And then when the big boys returned, Cummins and Lyon, Australia produced two exceptional displays in the field against a much-improved England on a particularly flat Adelaide pitch. While England huffed and puffed, but couldn’t blow over a straw shed, Australia knocked the house down with discipline, skill and endurance – tools this England bowling attack just does not possess.

A mismatch, then, and that’s before you throw in the fielding. There was no Steve Smith this week. ‘Yeah, we don’t need him to beat this lot’ probably fits. But even shorn of his exceptional slip catching, there were two jaw-dropping grabs from Marnus Labuschagne and another clinic from Alex Carey behind the stumps. Compare that to the episode of butter fingers England delivered at the Gabba and you’ll quickly understand why it’s three-zip before you’ve even started your Christmas shopping.

England need to improve, from top to bottom, but Harry Brook aside, I don’t think England fans can question the effort and level of commitment from their side week. The resolve Jamie Smith and Jacks, in particular, displayed on day five was all any of us could really ask for, and we can take comfort from the fact England went down fighting.

But sometimes, you have to cop it sweet. The better team won, and what a good team Australia are.

Leona and KP confessions

It’s quite something to acknowledge that you follow Kevin Pietersen on X. A bit like admitting that One More Sleep by Leona Lewis is one of your favourite Christmas songs. Neither is me, of course. Anyway, back to KP.

In a post on X last month, after India were beaten by South Africa in a low-scoring Test match in Kolkata, Pietersen argued the reason for India’s latest batting implosion was ‘modern day techniques’ and that players now grow up learning to ‘to hit sixes and play switch-hits’, not how ‘to build an innings’.

It’s hard to disagree.

Take this Test for example, played in Adelaide, which has historically been the flattest pitch in Australia. Universally, it was agreed this week’s offering was another road, or as Justin Langer termed it, ‘a batsman’s paradise’.

And with the respect to England, the fact their struggling batting line-up was able to score 352 batting last, after Australia had made 349 in the third innings, illustrates this was a good gig for the batters.

So how is it that despite having so much in the batsmen’s favour, there were only two hundreds scored in the match? And the hard facts are that both centurions, Carey and Head, were extremely fortunate, the former inexplicably handed a life from DRS with an incorrect call, and the latter dropped on 99.

About the only thing I got right in my pre-match preview was that this would be a flat pitch, and I gave brief thought to playing overs on total centuries. A bullet dodged.

But we’ve now had three Tests, and yet Australia have only managed three tons despite proving utterly dominant, while Joe Root’s century at the Gabba was England’s single moment of cheer across the whole series.

Some may point to the pitches, but the Perth one looked pretty good when Head was blazing away after Ollie Pope and Ben Duckett had briefly been in control for England, while the Gabba did very little for the pink ball, unless that ball was new when the lights came on. I think it’s a stretch to say that amounts to really challenging batting conditions. Adelaide was akin to the M1, pre-potholes.

By way of comparison, England’s last Ashes win Down Under came 15 years ago, when the visitors amassed nine hundreds in the series. As bad as Australia were that year, the hosts still finished with three. I suspect there would be very few takers about England beating that line with two games to go.

Pietersen is right. Modern-day techniques aren’t built to last, to endure the tough passages of play against the best bowling. A quick biff and on we go. Sadly, England’s biff is quicker than most.

Now, ‘Alexa, play me the Leona Lewis Christmas song.’