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1700: There is one conspicuous "Will appear here..." remaining on our Ins & Outs story but Spurs could finally be about to fill that gap, with the Independent reported that Ajax defender Davinson Sanchez has told the Amsterdam club that he wishes to join Tottenham.
Spurs have done okay out of former Ajax players, with Christian Eriksen and Jan Vertonghen making the move directly and Toby Alderweireld indirectly, and are now poised to make a £28m bid, according to the Indy. Ajax want £35m, but, as a wise man once said, you can't always get what you want.
1415: Obviously, we all know that the Premier League is the only true test of a footballer's talent. Any and all success in any of those so-called foreign leagues or "international football" that they have now is literally meaningless.
With these facts established, it is simply staggering that Barcelona are going to sign Paulinho, arguably the most hilarious failure of Spurs' Magnificent Seven, for £36.37million.
It must be something about receiving a world-record fee that makes clubs giddy and desperate to throw a hefty chunk of it at the ultimately disappointing Brazilian schemer.
An odd transfer, it must be said. A player undoubtedly better than he showed in his time in England, yet equally surely one lacking the quality required for Barcelona. They've not even gone after the right member of the Magnificent Seven. (Hint: he's Danish, inexplicably still only 25 and his name rhymes with Beriksen.)
1200: Chelsea Crisis Club status confirmed: Antonio Conte backed in from 7/1 to 7/2 joint favourite in Sky Bet's First Premier League Manager To Leave market.
1130: According to reports, Stoke are on the brink of sealing a loan move for PSG's Jese Rodriguez, which will either be the best bit of transfer business this summer or the worst. One in, one out for the Potters, with out-of-favour Joselu set to seal a £5m move to Newcastle. Which should hopefully cheer Rafa Benitez up a bit.
1125: If for some reason you want something a bit more in-depth than my comprehensive Premier League weekend round-up from earlier, then check out Alex Keble's Tactical Lessons column. It's a lot less like homework than I've made it sound, and contains many interesting pointers.
1020: Right, let's see how some of the summer's remaining Long-Running Transfer Sagas are looking at the start of a new week:
Philippe Coutinho is 2/5 to join Barcelona
Danny Rose is 4/1 to join Manchester United
Virgil van Dijk is 4/6 to get his Liverpool move
Gareth Bale is 11/2 to return to the Premier League at Old Trafford
Kylian Mbappe is 1/4 to join Neymar in Paris
Alexis Sanchez is 6/5 for the same move
Ousmane Dembele is 1/4 for Barcelona
Ross Barkley is 4/5 to sign for Spurs
Some or all of those might happen this week, I reckon. Or not. That's what makes it all so exciting.
0930: Another week of fun and games awaits in Transfer Town, with the added bonus that the season is actually happening now. Always the best time of the window, this, with the ticking of the clock and the always calm, level-headed reactions of all within the game to early-season results proving a combustible combination.
Let's start with a quick recap of the weekend and those sure-to-stand-the-test-of-time snap judgements: Romelu Lukaku is good, Jonjo Shelvey is an idiot, Man City are champions, Chelsea are bad, Liverpool are Liverpool and Arsenal are Arsenal. Some of those are pretty safe, to be fair.
And Chelsea's weekend was improved further when the Daily Mail casually lobbed some petrol on the fire of that opening defeat to Burnley by catching up with Diego Costa for a rant about just how unfairly he's been treated.
And, obviously, you'll want to read Paper Talk. That should go without saying by now. It's got even more Chelsea in it.
