Raymond van Barneveld admits he's endured a "disastrous" final season and isn't expecting to end his career as a six-time world champion.
The Dutch legend, who won four Lakeside crowns from 1998, 1999, 2003, 2005 before his sole world title in the PDC in 2007, is gearing up for his finale crack at glory before his planned retirement.
Van Barneveld's farewell Premier League campaign earlier in the year proved to be a damp squib as he was eliminated at Judgement Night in Rotterdam, where he initially announced he'd quit there and then following his heavy defeat to Michael van Gerwen.
After sleeping on it, Barney decided to press ahead for the rest of 2019 and while he's been unable to end his title drought in individual events stretching back to the 2014 Premier League, he has managed to reach two finals - once on the Pro Tour and another in the New Zealand Darts Masters.
Nevertheless, those runs haven't given him much optimism ahead of his Ally Pally return against American veteran Darin Young.
He told www.pdc.tv: "It's been a really hard year, a disaster year you could say. There have been some games where I play well and I think 'I can still do this', but in the next match it just doesn't happen and I don't know why. That's why I'm retiring.
"When I have these games where it doesn't happen for me that's when the sad feeling starts and I can't take the pain anymore. I want people to remember the great Van Barneveld, not the guy who complains all the time.
"Sometimes I feel ashamed and depressed about the way things have turned out at the end of my career. I don't want any more disaster years in the future and that's why I have to walk away."
The 52-year-old will give everything to end his career on a high note.
"I still have the vision that I've saved the whole year to play well at the World Championship and hopefully it's going to be a good run," said van Barneveld.
"Is it realistic to say that I'm going to lift this trophy? No, but the belief is still there.
"I'm really working as hard as I can to give myself a chance of this last target and I wouldn't be satisfied with just winning one or two matches.
"I will only be happy if I can lift that trophy, but if you offered me a runner-up spot right now then I would take it."
Barney also reflected on the highlight of his career - the 2007 final against Phil Taylor.
"To become a one-time World Champion is very special, but five times still sounds amazing to me," Van Barneveld added.
"I'm so thankful to have played in that final against Phil, I think it made me popular among the fans because at that time Phil was the man and for fans it was really special that I beat Phil on that night.
"I was 3-0 down in sets, I'd only won one leg at that point in the match and I don't know how I came back from that, I just never stopped believing.
"I still watch it back sometimes, it was such an incredible feeling that will live with me forever.
"If someone had told me the game 'that's the last world title you will ever win', I would've laughed and said I will win three or four more.
"I don't know what happened in the years after this. I tried and tried but I never really got it right, so I would have to say that final against Phil was my best."