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4: Mkhitaryan bursts down the left but his ball inside is poor and Reid deals with it. Mr West Ham, Noble, gets his first touch before Valencia fouls Arnautovic. West Ham take it quickly but Fernandes' touch is heavy. That was an opening on the edge of the United box.
3: Bailly cushions the ball back to De Gea as Obgonna tries a ball over the top. Hernandez is then caught offside after another through-ball from the same source.
2: Free-kick to West Ham as Jones goes through Hernandez. Welcome back to Old Trafford, old friend.
1: We are under way and it's a solid start for United, who work it down the right where Valencia is just stopped in his tracks.
1558: The teams are out here. Once more we go...
1554: Hart looks relaxed as he prepares to make his Premier League return...
1552: Lots of talk about the new United signings, and how Matic might help Pogba to show what he can do, all of which is true. But is there a mid-table club which has recruited better than West Ham? Hart. International quality. Hernandez. International quality. Arnautovic. International quality. Pablo Zabaleta. International quality.
I like all four and once bedded in, West Ham should have eyes on eighth place and a cup run.
1550: Despite telling us there would be at least three goals at Newcastle, Opta are afforded a second chance with their Man Utd v West Ham package...
- Three of the last five Premier League games between these two clubs have ended in a draw, with one win apiece in this run.
- Manchester United are unbeaten in their last nine Premier League home games with West Ham United (W7 D2 L0) – their last home league defeat against the Hammers was on the final day of the 2006-07 season.
- No team has won more opening day fixtures in the Premier League than Manchester United (16, level with Chelsea).
- West Ham have lost more opening day fixtures than any other Premier League club (10).
- Jose Mourinho has won seven of his previous eight opening day Premier League fixtures as a manager (D1).
- Mourinho has never lost a home match on a Sunday in all competitions in his managerial career, winning 86 and drawing 26 of 112 games.
- Romelu Lukaku scored in seven straight Premier League matches for Everton against West Ham between 2013 and 2016, but failed to find the net in his last match against them in April at the London Stadium.
- Javier Hernandez scored 37 goals in 103 Premier League games for Manchester United, netting a goal every 130 minutes for the club.
- Joe Hart could become the first away goalkeeper to keep three Premier League clean sheets at Old Trafford, having previously kept two with Manchester City in March 2014 and October 2015.
- Five of West Ham’s last six Premier League goals against Manchester United have come from set pieces (one corner, four free-kicks).
1547: As mentioned, I've backed the Spurs/United double, so I've got 6/5 United in effect. Inspiring stuff, right?
1546: Just for the record, United will finish third. There you go.
1545: "We can't let them have the ball behind us," says Bilic. He keeps talking about pockets like nothing is quite as scary as a pocket. Obsessed with pockets, big Slaven.
Back to Mourinho, not sure why, and he's non-committal regarding the quality and depth of his squad and a potential title challenge. Souness says they don't have 'the superstar', which Pogba might take issue with, but does believe they can challenge for the title.
1543: "I am happy to start, let's enjoy," says Mourinho. He looks full of the joys of spring. "As a spectator, as a fan, I have enjoyed the Friday match, some Saturday matches, so hopefully today we can keep giving good football for the people who love good football in the country."
1542: The lads.
1540: Any excuse to look at Juan Mata's lovely, lovely face for a while.
1537: Took longer than expected, sorry. Right. Man Utd v West Ham. Where's your money?
For all that and more, click here.
1525: Our attention will shortly switch to Old Trafford and the last game of the first round of Premier League fixtures. Quick break for me, but I'll be back in five with build-up to the game plus links to our Spurs match report as and when, along with reaction from St James'.
In other words, stay right where you are. Unless you're on a train or something and your stop is coming up. Mind the gap.
FULL-TIME: And that's that. Spurs ultimately cruise to victory when for half the match it looked like they would struggle to work out how to break Newcastle down. Nice one, Jonjo. To their credit, Spurs never really looked like conceding and when they got their man advantage, they took control of the game and quickly put it to bed.
It's a comfortable start for the title hopefuls.
90+2: Kane then has the ball in the net but Son has already been given offside, which was the correct call.
90+1: We're into the first of three added minutes as Sky Sports award Walker-Peters man of the match, before Kane slams a golden opportunity into the post. Huge chance wasted.
90: A final change for Spurs as Winks replaces Dembele.
89: Lovely skill form Eriksen to make Clark look a little silly. Spurs go inside but there's no urgency here, except perhaps from Kane who can't help but hunt for a goal.
87: Davies goes into the book for a foul to mar an otherwise superb day for the left-sided defender, who took his chance beautifully earlier. Perez takes the set-piece from a dangerous spot and it falls to Clark, who volleys straight at Lloris. Needlessly lax finish from Spurs.
86: Lloris again rushes out to clear. Faultless display as Spurs just rest on their laurels a little here.
84: A rare moment of alarm for Spurs as Manquillo's cross is flicked on by Hayden, and Atsu fires just wide from a tight angle.
83: Alli is booed off the field by some sections of the Newcastle support. Fickle sport and he did nothing wrong, remember. The same folks will cheer him on gleefully for England, I am sure. Wanyama is on, anyway.
81: Atsu has kept going, to his credit, and after an inside-outside run at the Spurs defence, Lloris again has to keep his focus to stop what was ultimately a scuffed shot at goal.
80: Manquillo does well for Newcastle down thr right but the cross is collected by Lloris under minimal pressure, before a ball from Merino towards Atsu also misses its target.
78: Dier has been quiet today but almost scores here as his deflected shot flies wide for a corner.
TEAM NEWS: Manchester United name Lukaku and Matic in their line-up for the visit of West Ham. Valencia is captain, Mkhitaryan and Rashford help form the attack with Pogba and Mata along with Matic in midfield.
For the visitors, Hart makes his full debut in goal, with Zabalete, Hernandez and Arnautovic also making their first Premier League starts for the club.
75: A flat atmosphere inside St James' Park now after 20-something minutes which turned this game from an opportunity to something to learn from, for one player at least. Then again, Shelvey has been around a long time now. Probably not going to change.
Lloris remains alert to danger and rushes out to collect a hopeful ball towards Gayle.
74: The moment Alli put Spurs ahead...
70: GOAL! Davies! Newcastle 0-2 Tottenham
Really quick passing from Spurs, but it's a fortunate ricochet off Eriksen which falls into the lap of Davies which opens up the opportunity. He tucks it away ruthlessly and that is that.
69: Sunderland are now 2-0 up at Norwich, as Newcastle attack down the right and Alderweireld is forced to clear. Hayden's ball then goes behind and it's a goal kick.
67: Lovely work from the PA's pitchside photographer...
65: Walker-Peters seeks out Kane but Lascelles is there to clear. Is this the day Kane finally scores in August, so next year we can talk about something less tiresome? His Golden Boot credentials would receive a serious boost were he to strike prior to September, clearly, and challenger Aguero scored yesterday.
64: Spurs are 1/16 now and that's a fairly accurate representation of things you'd imagine. Sky Bet quote 7/2 that Newcastle score and Spurs will be disappointed if allowing them to do so. A 2-0 away win is favourite at 2/1, and that seems about right. Spurs will look to put this to bed now but there's no great desire to run themselves into the ground for more than that. Click here to bet.
61: GOAL! Alli! Newcastle 0-1 Tottenham
Eriksen is given time to pick out Alli, who ghosts in behind the Newcastle defence and guides it past Elliot. A textbook blow, Spurs changing gear as they can do so quickly but aided, clearly, but Shelvey's latest infraction. That space for Eriksen just wasn't there in the first half. 1-0 to the visitors and probably game over.
60: Here's the moment Shelvey saw red. Impressed at the indignant look, to be fair.
58: Elliot wins a free-kick as Sissoko leaps with him. There was very little in it, but Sissoko did jump into the goalkeeper a little. Elliot makes a heck of a lot of it but is fine to continue.
Spurs meanwhile remove Sissoko, with Son brought on in his place.
55: As you'd expect, Spurs are dominating now and it's fairly easy for them to find space. Walker-Peters does so as he cuts in from the right, but his cross is too long. Some interesting words being used to describe Shelvey here, and to be frank I agree with all of them. Some captain.
54: Well, we wanted action... can't underline enough how stupid Shelvey has been there. If you're a Newcastle fan, he deserves your fury. His team looked comfortable for 48 minutes but the rest of this match will be anything but.
51: Kane almost scores as Ritchie does go into the book. The Spurs man is through one-on-one and half-volleys straight at Elliot. Should do better.
50: Down to 10 men, Newcastle finally force a save from Lloris thanks to Gayle's shot from an angle. Alli is then down again, this time under a reckless slide from Ritchie. That may well be a yellow, too.
49: Football is/footballers are a joke sometimes. Shelvey purposefully stood on Alli's ankle, after a free-kick had already been awarded. Alli made a meal of it, obviously. He will have been in very little pain. But the message is Shelvey, in an act of sheer stupidity, the like of which he produces every season at some stage, deserves his red. Pathetic.
48: RED CARD! Shelvey is off for a foul on Alli. Wow. Need to see a replay here - everyone seems shocked.
47: Better from Spurs as Sissoko releases Davies, whose dangerous ball is cleared by Shelvey. Eriksen whips another ball in and this time Mbemba clears. More urgency already from the visitors.
46: Sissoko concedes a free-kick deep inside the Newcastle half as play resumes with no changes to either side. Remember, Newcastle have just one left...
1433: Right, the teams will be out shortly. Hopefully they've both been asked to try to score some goals after the break. Maybe it wasn't that bad, maybe it's the fact I'm on game nine for the weekend. No, no, it was that bad. Slow, unimaginative and lacking in quality. Better please. Now.
1424: Sky Bet make 0-0 a 4/1 chance, which feels like a decent opportunity to make something out of this misery. It's 2/1 that both teams score - how is 0-0 considerably bigger on what we've seen so far?
I tend to get tempted by bookings boosts, to be honest. Alli was involved in a scuffle and committed a late foul there, so a yellow is perfectly possible.
Then again, stats-wise, four bookings during the whole of last season do say 5/2 about one in 45 minutes is poor value. And he only averaged one every four games the year before despite getting five in the first seven games.
With that in mind I can't get involved but you can see it happening for sure. Click here if you want a bet.
HT: And so ends a drab half of football. No real chances, no real quality, the only events of note a couple of defensive injuries for the home side. Spurs have done nothing to capitalise.
45+3: Nope, he goes for a cross which fails to clear the first defender. Newcastle break and Lloris has to collect a Gayle cross with Shelvey waiting. Soon after, Gayle is brought down by Alli on halfway. To the relief of Benitez, who has made two enforced changes already, Gayle is fine.
45+2: Hayden brings down Alli 35 yards out. Must be worth a shot. I wouldn't usually say that but it's almost half-time, nobody appears capable of creating a genuine chance, so kicking the ball vaguely towards goal seems a decent policy here.
45+1: Another Eriksen shot from range is tame and easily picked up by Elliot. He's growing frustrated at a lack of options, but that was the wrong one. Three minutes added, which is an act of extreme cruelty.
45: Perez has been quiet but it takes three Spurs defenders to get him off the ball on the edge of their box, Davies ultimately clearing towards Alli. Pochettino looks bored to tears.
43: Atsu turns Walker-Peters inside out but Dembele is quickly across to slide in and put the ball out for a Newcastle throw. From it, Clark runs diagonally into the Spurs box but Walker-Peters does well to shield the ball to safety.
41: Compare this to Man City, and I am becoming pretty convinced that the league is heading to Manchester and more specifically the blue half. Spurs haven't invested a penny this summer and while 40 minutes is nowhere near sufficient to judge them, further options are surely needed. Barkley would be a start but they need an alternative to Kane. It's massive for Arsenal to be able to call on Giroud and Spurs need to find something similar.
Eriksen has at least started to come into the game and curls a shot towards the corner, which Elliot is down to save.
39: This is pretty dire, it must be said. Good news for Sky Bet, who are hoping to avoid two Price Boosts in particular - Kane to score a header and Spurs to win 3-1. Their biggest #RequestABet liability is Alli to score, Kane to score two or more, and three other players to be carded. I think they can already breathe a sigh of relief on that one.
38: A bit of life from Alli as he gallops into the box, but Mbemba does really well to first dispossess the England man, then earn a free-kick.
37: No goals here but Newcastle's big rivals, Sunderland, are ahead at Norwich. We've had just one shot on target at St James' Park.
36: Walker-Peters wins Spurs a corner as he runs directly at Clark. Davies finds the head of Alderweireld and there's a brief moment of panic for the hosts, but they're awarded a free-kick for what looks like a soft handball.
34: Looks like another change could be coming as Newcastle earn yet another corner. Shelvey's ball ends up at the feet of Lascelles, who can't keep his attempted cross in play. Here comes another change, then, as Mbemba replacess Lejuene.
33: Lejuene looks in pain here, to be honest. Meanwhile here's that moment earlier which so angered Alli...
31: Spurs are better than Arsenal, right, but for the blogger not so much. They just don't do anything silly. In fact, the silliest they get is probably the two-footed challenge on halfway which has just earned Kane a booking. Is that all you've got?
30: Walker-Peters has had more touches than any player so far and they've come at both ends. Shelvey's corner is poor and Kane clears for a throw.
29: Davies deals with the corner, stooping low to head clear, before Walker-Peters slides in to concede another with Atsu again looking to get in behind.
28: Boos for Sissoko continue as he switches left to try to get involved. Calm defending from Lejuene to deny Alli and Newcastle now counter, with Atsu racing towards the byline before cutting back. Davies is forced to clear for a corner.
27: Newcastle go short and Clark then chips it to Lloris. Total waste. Spurs break and look really dangerous as Eriksen eventually forces space for a shot which fizzes wide. As we saw at Watford and at Brighton yesterday, the hosts become more vulnerable the more they attack.
26: Kane uses his body to shield the ball and allow Eriksen to release Walker-Peters, whose powerful cross is blasted over by Sissoko. Dare I say the debutant has been Spurs' most lively player so far, and he's now back defending to block an Atsu cross. Corner to the home side.
25: Still 0-0 at Norwich, who host Sunderland, but short-priced acca backers may be pleased to know that 1/3 shots Feyenoord lead FC Twente. I know you're out there. Ooh, a mirror!
23: Composed stuff from Hayden in midfield first of all and then Lascelles goes in nice and strong on Alli, who goes Full Dele Alli in response with a bit of a shove. Nothing to see here.
22: Spurs have drifted from 7/10 to 4/5 having failed to carve out any kind of opening so far, with the draw 9/4 and Newcastle 100/30. Price Boosts include Spurs to win and both teams to score, which seems a world away at the moment and can be backed at an enhanced 7/2 as a result.
It's 7/1 that both teams score before the break, 3/1 that Kane strikes first and 9/4 Shelvey to be carded. The latter would be by some distance the most tempting of those options as Walker-Peters earns a free-kick near the opposition corner flag.
Eriksen's delivery is excellent but Kane can't get enough on it and a relieved Elliot collects.
20: Sloppy from Atsu and Spurs win a cheap throw-in on halfway. A little scrappy at the moment as Newcastle look to find Gayle whenever they can, and Spurs try to get Kane and Alli involved in the game. The former very quiet so far but, then again, it is August.
18: Over a third of the way through the half and no real alarm bells for Newcastle as Spurs try to work through the gears. Alli is almost in behind again but Eriksen's follow-up shot is weak and collected by Elliot, who hasn't yet been given much to do.
At the other end, Walker-Peters steps in well to deny Perez. Nice anticipation and he's made a strong start here.
16: Dembele is penalised for a push on Perez which earns Newcastle a cheap free-kick around 45 yards out. Excitement ensues as Gayle gets in behind and goes down under a challenge, but rather than point to the spot the referee signals offside. Would've been a penalty, I think.
15: Clark concedes another corner which Davies takes short to Eriksen. His ball is tantalisingly dropped onto the six-yard line, but Elliot is alive to the threat and collects.
13: Side-to-side go Spurs, with Hayden the latest Newcastle player to rush towards Eriksen and force a pass back to Vertonghen. Alli then gets in behind and Lascelles does well to clear his cross towards Kane for another corner, which is headed wide by Sissoko.
11: Alderweireld does well to nod clear with Gayle again looking to sneak in behind. Soon after, Lloris comes charging out to clear a similar situation and it's pretty clear that Newcastle are going to look for their striker down the flanks as early as possible.
10: More like it from the visitors as Walker-Peters finds Alli, who tries to dance around Lejeune. It breaks to Dembele, who shoots from 25 yards but it's blocked by Clark. Spurs are now taking control of the ball.
8: Eriksen and Davies exchange passes before the Dane crosses towards Kane. Newcastle deal with it well, though, and the danger is cleared.
7: In amongst all that, Dummett went down injured. Worrying signs for Newcastle as he limps off. Looks like a muscle problem and Benitez may well be forced into a change.
Yep, a change it is as Lascelles comes on. First job? Defend a Spurs corner.
6: Half-chance(s). Gayle lurks behind Alderweireld and is just about on-side as a ball loops through onto his left foot. He skies it well over the bar but that's a warning and another soon follows as Atsu threatens.
Spurs break quickly and the hosts are lucky Kane doesn't spot Sissoko in acres of space. All that needed was a square ball and the French midfielder was in.
5: Spurs break for the first time, Alli starting things off, but Shelvey hounds out Sissoko and Elliot is able to clear. Really lively start from the home side, who earn a throw-in through Atsu down the left.
4: Both sides are pressing high up the field, which means defenders shouldn't expect time on the ball. Alderweireld goes back to Lloris under pressure from Atsu before Gayle goes down under a challenge from the same man. Play on.
3: Good pressure from Ritchie on Vertonghen earns Newcastle another throw, this time deep in the Spurs half. Some neat exchanges almost allow Perez in but it breaks to Gayle in a dangerous position, only for his ball towards Atsu to sail harmlessly out of play.
2: An early touch from Lejeune, recruited from SD Eibar this summer, before Walker-Peters is fouled by Perez. Lloris then hooks the free-kick out of play for a Newcastle throw midway inside their own half.
1: Right then, we are under way. Can Kane score in August? Will Newcastle repeat their 5-1 heroics of the last equivalent fixture? Neither? Both? We'll find out over the course of the next 90-odd minutes.
1328: The teams are out at a packed, noisy St James' Park (granted, this picture is from earlier, when it was less packed, less noisy...)
1324: As kick-off approaches, a nod to the expertise of our Premier League tipster David John, who has bagged a couple of nice winners already this season and will end the round of fixtures in front regardless of what happens today.
On Newcastle v Spurs, he goes with both teams to score and a 2-2 scoreline verdict, concluding:
"A lot of water has passed under the bridge since May 2016 – not least Newcastle spending a season back in the Sky Bet Championship.
"To their eternal credit, they emerged as champions at the first time of asking and it is now up to the outstanding Rafa Benitez to get them re-established back in the top flight.
"While Spurs fans scratch their heads over the lack of summer transfer activity, it has been a similar story for Sunday's hosts.
"One or two players have arrived but only to replace the departures – Jacob Murphy looks a very interesting recruit from Norwich – as Benitez has not exactly been handed a copious warchest for a recruitment drive so it seems in the current climate he will have to rely on the squad that won promotion and his own wily skills.
"Two victories over Wolfsburg and Hellas Verona to complete pre-season were encouraging and the attacking flair on display suggests in the short term at least the Toon faithful are going to be entertained if they maintain that momentum.
"Just once in their last five encounters have Spurs and Newcastle failed to both get on the scoresheet so an investment at a shade of odds-on for each side to register is the rather obvious option for what should be a lively encounter."
1321: Benitez now. "This club deserves to be in the Premier League. Hopefully we can do well and be here for a long time."
On today's game, he adds: "(Spurs) are so good that they can play counter-attack and score. If you wait to much, they are patient. We need to find the balance."
Pochettino: "It's exciting to play again. Of course, a different challenge that we have ahead, but always the same mentality."
On Danny Rose: "It's true that outside, you can see that it's a big issue, but inside the players (are) calm, the ideas very clear."
I love Pochettino. And I am an Arsenal fan. While Spurs have him, they can play at Wembley, Hackney Marshes, the top of The Shard, and they'll be all right.
1318: Not sure they needed to title the interview 'Mike Ashley Speaks Direct', to be honest. Not unless you're going to ask him about the company he runs. Anyway, enough of that. Alan Pardew is speaking and he's painting a pretty damning portrayal of life as Newcastle manager. He says Newcastle aren't ready and that was normal when he was in charge. "You've just got to get on with it," he says.
Both Pardew and George Graham are doing a fine job of saying the club is run poorly without saying the club is run poorly.
1316: "For this season I'd like to be mid-table, safe..." he says. Sounds reasonable. Clearly, though, this is a businessman talking. He's on about five-year plans and all sorts. Bet he does a mean PowerPoint. Rather, bet his assistant does.
1314: Interview running for about 120 seconds and he's apologised to Sam Allardyce and Kevin Keegan...
1313: Sky Sports have landed some coup in getting an interview with Mike Ashley which is now being broadcast. Wonder if big Dave Craig will ask him about his thoughts on the minimum wage, working conditions, and zero-hours contracts. Just be interested, that's all.
1310: Thought Kyle Walker was very good for Man City yesterday, but it's a nice move from Spurs to field him here under the name Kyle Walker-Peters. Daniel Levy has always been shrewd, but getting that money for a player he's still allowed to use is out of this world.
What do you mean they're not the same person? Ah. Research needed. Wikipedia tells me he has "all the guile of a No 10 but also the pace of a seriously nippy winger", which sounds good, doesn't it? This will be his Premier League debut, anyway, and he's 12/1 to mark it with a goal.
1305: Both these sides have been quiet in the transfer window, although Spurs could be set to sign Davinson Sanchez according to today's Paper Talk.
They're also evens to sign Ross Barkley, which I reckon would be a gamble well worth taking. Newcastle are 10/1 in the same market and 9/1 to nab Aaron Lennon from under the noses of Watford, who are tracking the Everton winger.
Newcastle could also be in for another Toffee, James McCarthy - they're 4/5 to sign him - while Sporting striker Bas Dost, who scored a late winner for his side on Friday night, is a fascinating option and as short as 7/2 to make the move this summer.
Spurs are 11/8 to take Cedric Soares from Southampton while one of the more fanciful suggestions is that Newcastle could sign Islam Slimani from Leicester, at 9/2. Perhaps more likely is they go for Arsenal misfit Lucas Perez, a 9/4 shot to make the move up the M1/A1(M).
Click here for all the latest transfer markets.
1254: Opta inform us that the average goals-per-game between these two is a very high 3.14, roughly split between the two. Newcastle edge the overall head-to-head with 21 wins to 17 for Spurs, who've won five from 22 at St James' Park.
The times, they have-a changed, though.
Here are Opta's key facts ahead of kick-off:
- This will be a repeat of Newcastle’s last Premier League game in May 2016 – when they thrashed Spurs 5-1 at St James’ Park.
- There have been 14 goals scored in the last three Premier League meetings between these two clubs at St James’ Park.
- The Magpies have won only one opening match across their last nine league seasons, but that came against Spurs; 2-1 in 2012 (D4 L4).
- Rafa Benitez has not lost any of his previous eight Premier League home games as a manager against Spurs (W5 D3 L0).
- This is the seventh successive Premier League season that Tottenham will play their opening Premier League game away from home.
- Harry Kane is one goal away from a century for Spurs in all competitions – he has netted 99 goals in 165 games so far, including hat-tricks in his two previous appearances.
- Kane has scored 20 goals in his last 15 Premier League games against newly promoted sides – three of his six top-flight hat-tricks have been against newly promoted teams (Leicester in 2014-15, Bournemouth in 2015-16 and Hull last season).
- However, Kane has never scored a Premier League goal in August (10 games).
- Newcastle striker Dwight Gayle averaged a goal every 93 minutes in the Championship last season, scoring 23 goals; he also scored in his last top-flight appearance against Spurs for Crystal Palace in January 2015.
- None of the last nine winners of the Championship have won their first match in the Premier League after promotion (D2 L7). The last team to achieve this were Sunderland in August 2007, who beat Tottenham on the opening day thanks to a late strike from Michael Chopra.
- Christian Eriksen was involved in the build up sequence to 253 open play shots last season in the Premier League; more than any other player in the competition.
1248: Can't be too careful these days, when it comes to checking the facts. This picture is actually from the last Newcastle v Spurs game, but it could so easily be today, couldn't it? Benitez is just 5/1 to be the next Premier League manager to leave, a market headed by the boss of the current champions, Antonio Conte.
It is a crazy, crazy world.
1245: I like the look of the most simple option on the coupon today: a Spurs/United double. It pays around 6/5 with Sky Bet and I expect both to win. Layers were in clover as Chelsea, Crystal Palace and Southampton all failed miserably yesterday, but Sunday is a day for the punter. Maybe. I lack conviction in August.
1243: (Look away Spurs fans...) The last time Newcastle hosted Tottenham, they won 5-1. That was on the final day of the 2015/16 campaign, which means it was their last Premier League game.
Spurs famously let Arsenal past them that year, and it was Newcastle who the Gunners had to thank. They'd also won 2-1 at the Lane earlier in the season and that's three of the last four league meetings of these sides which Newcastle have won.
Still can't have them at 4/1, to be honest.
If you think Sissoko might return to haunt his former club, it's 55/1 that he scores in a 2-1 away win.
In this beautiful modern world you can find a price for just about whatever you think might happen, all by clicking here.
1231: No Rose for Spurs, obviously, but a strong-looking line-up, which includes former Newcastle man Sissoko.
Newcastle: Elliot, Manquillo, Clark, Lejuene, Dummett, Ritchie, Hayden, Shelvey, Atsu, Perez, Gayle
Tottenham: Lloris, Walker-Peters, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Davies, Dier, Dembele, Sissoko, Eriksen, Alli, Kane
1230: Team news is filtering through and Newcastle name Perez, Gayle, Ritchie and Shelvey with the likes of Lascelles, Aarons and Mitrovic on the bench.
1224: Presumably, this is just a clip of the last three minutes of the season...
1220: Hello and welcome along to our first Super Sunday blog of the Premier League season. Still Ben Coley, I'm afraid, but I promise to let someone else have a crack next week.
For now you are stuck with me but we've come this far - what's two more matches? Here's hoping they live up to the standards set so far, including the highs of Manchester City's attack, Burnley's away turnaround and Huddersfield's chutzpah, and the lows of Liverpool and Arsenal's calamitous defending. More of that and goals are guaranteed.
As I grab some team news, why not click here to read the pick of the reaction from yesterday and today's pre-match fighting talk in one handy package. (Hint: right-click and open in a new tab, yeah? Don't leave me here on my own...)