Chips, quips and tips

  • Last Updated: July 20 2014, 17:57 BST

The pressure is getting to Dave Ord at Redcar and it's only the second day of the Go Racing In Yorkshire Summer Festival.

Prince Charles was left wishing he was having one of Shinners' dinners.
Prince Charles was left wishing he was having one of Shinners' dinners.

Thank heavens for Ed Chamberlin.

The Go Racing In Yorkshire Summer Festival used to be a lovely, tranquil week. Go to the Flat tracks of God’s Own County, sample an ice-cream from each with the aim of crowning a dairy champ on Sunday. The odd punters panel, the odd pint and pie. Life was good.

Then came the Magnificent Seven and the wheels came off in spectacular style.

Now before every meeting I’m a wreck of a man. Huddled in a corner of the press room, unable to make eye contact with anyone outside the inner circle. Nine £50 charity bets shouldn’t do this to a man.

And you didn’t help Storyline, no not one bit. She was the one burdened with the Ord hopes and dreams at Redcar on Sunday. I took up the lucky position, in solitude on the rail in the disabled car park. From there I watched as she blazed early before doing an impression of this writer when I failed to get home in the 400metres at Crofton High School in the golden summer of 1987.

At least the fire was extinguished quickly, the blood pressure never raised. She was just another to join the growing list of failures. It’s basically a My Stable for those with a masochistic streak.

But those in a good Redcar crowd partied on unaware of why the flabby wreck of a man in a stained pink shirt was muttering obscenities to himself as he queued up for a double flake 99.

And why should they. The sun shone and Help For Heroes Family Day had something for everyone. The energetic youth of Teesside were able to climb a turret in the centre of course, under supervision of course. The one hen party provided a focal point for a group of gents in a Hawaiian shirts (and one Dorothy Perkins blouse). The bouncy castle was never static, the bars never quiet. It was fun in the sun.

Amy Fair and her hardworking team were busy hiding the pack-a-macs that had been readied had the Armageddon forecast of earlier in the week come to fruition.

The “Chips With Everything” van did exactly what it said on the tin. Although I walked past three times to make sure it was really offering “cheesy cheddar” with chips. I dread to think what the non-cheesy version consisted of.

On the track Richard Fahey won the opener with a promising colt but the burden of his charity bet was all too much for Polski Max. Alex Hammond drew another blank to ensure the host of Super Sunday and Monday Night Football and I remain in esteemed competition at the foot of the ladder.

As I write Michael Shinners has left the building to complete a Sunday lunch he began working on last night. Thyme in the Yorkshire Puddings is his added little extra. All Mrs S had to do was put the beef in at 1430. She is a very lucky lady.

All Madrasse has to do is win the claimer and last year’s rubbing rag will be a runaway leader in the Magnificent Seven. It’s the greatest sporting comeback since Eric Bristow rid himself of dartitis to beat Paul Hanagan in a game of 101 at Sky Bet Dash day in 2011.

For me? Well I dust myself down, with the help of cheesy cheddar chips, and begin studying for Beverley on Monday. It’s exhausting this Go Racing In Yorkshire Festival lark. Just ask the kid who suffered the ignominy of having his mum climb up the turret to bring him down when it was home time.

He wasn’t happy. I’d have offered him a cheesy cheddar chip if there were any left.