1740: I've cracked and had a second muffin. The pounds gained in weight this week will probably be matched by the pounds lost betting. So it's over again, it really flies by. I'm off home a tired and beaten man. It was very good fun though!

1722: They didn't cost me dear. The meeting starts as it began - in abject failure. One winner in 26 races. Beat that if you can.

1712: No time for the cheeky Exacta. The passage outside is packed with revellers. Packed. They could be costing me dear.

1710: Is there time for a cheeky late Exacta? Is there?

1700: And now, the end is near. One race to go. One more coffee. One more muffin. I'm welling up.

1633: Tragically I have to go back outside. I'm an easy target for the vicious banter of the groups of drinkers. I walk with my head to the floor, refusing to make eye contact. I am much happier sat down here.

1629: Wonder what's in an antacid tablet? Good stuff whatever it is. Now doubled Big Eared Fran up with Poquelin in the last. Out of control.

1624: Don't feel too tired. An antacid tabled has stopped the churning stomach and the rash (base of right thumb) has disappeared. I must be allergic to carrots.

1615: I have renewed hope. Gary Cooke writes: "At beginning of week I had a £5 bet on every number 7 horse and every Ruby Walsh horse...Am up a couple of hundred so far......in the last 3 years of the festival I've had no more than 2 winners in the 4 days". I am putting the betting boots back on. Big Eared Fran is a favourite of mine, come on old son, one more time.

1555: John from Southampton is having a bad day. Dig deep is my advice. Like Alan Partridge before me I've bounced back. One winner in four days is about normal service.

1538: Just realise Exotic Dancer was third. It was a race that punting didn't matter in. So is the next - the Fox Hunters.

1532: You have to say that was a bit special. Amazing horse. Clifford Baker running and punching the air. Go for it sir!

1513: Philip Burns has a good ante-post double running on from Punjabi here. Good luck sir. He's left work early to watch it. I did a similar think with my Physics GCSE to watch Nashwan's Derby and got a D as a result. A promising career in science ended that very day.

1510: Just realised I haven't given you the Gold Cup winner yet. Exotic Dancer. There you go.

1500: There's a giant photo of a parsnip behind the winning connections as they receive their trophies. A big fan of the root vegetable myself, cut thinly and roasted.

1453: Nothing in the rules of racing about bad grammar. Nothing. Should be. We are the sport of kings after all.

1447: Touched off. Touched off. The press room is abuzz over the apostrophe in Weapon's Amnesty. Hope the judge is a stickler for grammar and throws it out on the grounds of bad English.

1436: Albert Bartlett our sponsors are very big in root vegetables. Never had their famous rooster potato. Never.

1435: The stairway blockers are now singing outside. I may never leave the press room again.

1430: The Queen is wearing a russet red hat for anyone who wants to know. What is russet red? Is it one of those Dulux shades?

1425: Dave's Dream sixth. Pay, pay, pay for you Sky Bet boys and girls. Not for Dave Ord though. Pride Of Dulcote in this. Don't know how I unearthed that hidden gem.

1419: Sky Bet paid out six places in the County Hurdle. Speculation is rife Dave's Dream was sixth. Rife. Is there light at the end of the tunnel for some of you fellow Dreamers?

1415: Clifford Baker's air punch was very half hearted. Let rip with one man. I did when Zaynar won. Brave, grey Zaynar. My shining light.

1414: Not convinced Paul Nicholls' yellow tie goes with the pink shirt. Controversial I know. I'm in blue and white stripes with a blue patterned tie.

1410: Wasn't on that. Looks like it could have won had I been riding it. Dave's Dream is over. Over.

1405: Richard Williams has turned on Big Mac. "John McCririck jinxed Walkon with his mindless and tuneless singing on Morning Line........I used to like him but now I find him extremely irritating, plus he says Denman is a shadow of his former self.........how can he make that assumption after only one run this season? "

I was listening to Festival Radio (powered by Timeform) yesterday and they revealed that one of the side effects of the treatment Denman had was depression and that he'd been feeling sorry for himself. It's a strange old world.

1402: Here comes Philip Burns tail between his legs. "Due to your modesty there's not much chance of us hearing about your 1st winner...as Victor would say UNBELIEVABLE!" Wait till Dave's Dream goes in here - one winner away from the round robin bonanza and a brown trilby. May even buy a spare for rainy days.

1400: Ian From Birmingham is off my list. He is a nice man and thinks I should blog more often at more mundane meetings. He's right too. I am unable to reveal what Castle and Lawrie have done to make the list, but they won't be coming off it.

1358: In a real pickle. Now I've cracked punting I was going to pop out to have a bet in the County Hurdle. However the place is rammed and there are large groups of revellers between me and the tote booth. They are loud and intimidating.

1350: On the way back to the press room I had to dodge 24 cameras all pointed at the Queen on the balcony. One man shouted "go on love, give me a wave". She didn't. I sensed the raising of the royal middle finger was more likely.

1345: Here we go! It's on. It's only on. Can't remember the last loser I backed at Cheltenham.

1324: Ian From Birmingham is now on my "list" which includes Andrew Castle and the golfer Paul Lawrie. He writes about the shock news I've eaten a vegetable: "Please don't take this the wrong way but followers of your diary over the last 4 days and the subsequent betting outcomes will possibly feel that they have been presented with a vegetable."

1322: Going down for the first. I'm heading to the members' lawn. Good luck with your placepots. My round robin has the old heart thumping. Good feeling for this one.

1316: Colleague Andy Roberts is here in a magnificent brown trilby. It's reignited my passion to buy one. So if Zaynar, Dave's Dream and Pride Of Dulcote win the first three, I'm heading to the tented village.

1310: In an interview in the racecard Mattie Batcherlor says the best advice he's ever been given is "keep your head down and swing through the ball". Apparently it came from Tiger Woods.

The best advice I've received is from Nina who told me to grow a beard to cover my facial fungal infection. Never looked back since.

1307: An elderly man has replaced an elderly lady as lead dancer to the marching band. He carries his left arm at a jaunty angle while holding an umbrella in his right one. Not turning many heads though. Sadly in this chauvinist world, he doesn't seem to be meeting with approval.

1305: Suddenly gone very warm. Either the chicken curry is going to cause problems or my body is rejecting the carrots and peas. It hasn't been presented with a vegetable for four days.

1302: Lester Piggott is presenting Tony McCoy with a trophy for riding 3,000 winners. Michael Dickinson is clapping heartily in the background. He's now moved forward for the photos. Sir Peter O'Sullevan is also on the stage.

1300: Thanks to Sam Clements. He or she enjoys the blog but prefers the one I do at the Open golf. Many thanks. That's actually done by colleague and friend David Tindall. I will pass on your kind words, through gritted teeth.

1252: Went to pieces at the food counter and as a result I'm having chicken curry, new potatoes, carrots and peas. It could be the first time the combo has been thrown together.

1245: Lunch time soon - not sure what is though. Will order by pointing at pot three.

1241: Thanks to Steve Webster for pointing out that given the perilous state of both my bank balance and bowels, Rippling Ring is a topical tip for the County Hurdle.

1230: Philip Burns is a very mean man. A very mean man. He writes: 2Where r u man....has the rash spread...that with your tingling looks like the only thing that you are going to be taking home from Cheltenham...3 days in, no winners and you are trying a round robin...think it's spread to your head...." The rash has actually eased a little, it's now a faint red rather than maroon. However the left arm continues to tingle if I lift it to an angle greater than 90 degrees.

1226: Colin Inkster, who has destroyed me in our head-to-heads this week, writes: "Hi Dave - Im on Cappa Bleu in the foxhunters to finish you off ! forgot to mention my nap from the pub yesterday - Character Building." After timing of the worst order there. May back Cappa Bleu myself - just to spite Colin. The man is having too good a week.

1223: Sean Meenaghan is either fattist or sexist. "Dave, I went round robin one time too.She was a big girl wasted a tank of petrol swerving to avoid her!! Get on Juveigneur in the Fox Hunters." Haven't had a bet in that one yet. Will take a lot of beating though, surely?

1220: I like David Berry and can put his mind to rest. He writes: "Last email of week. It sounds like you've had a horrible three days of punting. Maybe today will be your lucky day. But please, whatever you do, don't back Sunnyhillboy, Cape Tribulation or Barbers Shop because they're who I fancy and you're bad luck!! I've been waiting for Sunnyhillboy all week." I'm not any of those David. None of them. Zaynar will get me up and running in the opener though,

1215: Just been delayed by the Queen's arrival. I was about to wag an irrate finger at a Land Rover driver who has coming down the horse chute in front of the stands when I realised our monarch was in there. Stood to attention but my lack of military training probably shone through.

1125: Gone round robin today. You just couldn't predict it. Need Paul Nicholls to have a treble - but without winning the Gold Cup.

1112: Oliver Brady on the big screen. Big fan of the man. On the other is Philip Schofield. Not quite as big a fan.

1105: Richard Williams is planning to leave work early - despite the problems facing Britain. I like his style. He writes: "Will all the Liverpool or Celtic fans be on Walkon today? Surely it will shorten in price as a result....my girlfriend has been keeping me up to date with Morning Line reports each morning and was horrified at John McCririck with his awful rendition of You'll Never Walk Alone - it's enough to put anyone off! Denman will retain his crown mark my words, 13/2 is truly huge, Kauto will fall, Neptune will be as distant as the planet and Barber's Shop will be a tiny spec of hair in the background. Sorry for the awful puns by the way!" Never apologise. I needed you yesterday when I ran out of gas with my Jamie Codd gags. It was a magic three minutes though.

1100: A fresh medical crisis. A small, red rash has developed atthe base of my right thumb. Rolled a glass over it and it disappears. Will Hayler suggests a trip to the chemist. Can't ask the medical team after my run-in with the cycling ambulance man on day one.

1057: I've hit a flat spot. Gone tired. Need to buck up. It's busier today but still no Charlie Chaplin on stilts. Wonder what he's doing this week?

1050: Managed to add two new friends on Facebook. Pushing up towards three figures now. And to think they said I found it hard to mix with other people at junior school.

1040: Apparently if someone from Heinz was to read the blog I may be sent some complimentary soup. I like most of their products but not cock-a-leeky. The name just puts me off.

1035: I am a tad sweaty - but not as much as a Sky Bet punter who has placed a £25 each/way 'Heinz'. He has already had Cooldine, Imperial Commander and Quevega come in and now has £20,000 resting on Master of Arts in the Triumph Hurdle and Amicelli in the Foxhunters. I have £15 left in my pocket. Only Heinz I'll be having is the cream of tomato soup. Still number one in my book.

1030: Tingling still there - not even Zovirax can stop this one.

1026: Developed pins and needles in my left wrist. A quick google and all sorts of sinister things start like this.

1020: Ian From Birmingham writes: "I have just been to the dentist (a very nice lady as it happens) who asked if I was tense as the muscles around my jaw were very rigid.Do you think she would have understood if I told her it was Gold Cup day and I am on Kauto Star?" If she is anything like my dentist she won't. After scraping bits of meat and the odd fish finger out of my cavities my denist then offered me advice on how to freshen my breath. The cheek of it.

1015: It's drizzling, that light annoying stuff. Decided against walking the course as a result. To be fair that was always a 33/1 chance. The one time I did I was in desperate trouble at the top of the hill. There are no medical facilities out there for obese pedestrians. It's a disgrace.

0955: Just seen Steve Smith Eccles. A surprisingly firm hand shake. He feels I've gained weight. I feel he is shorter than I remember.

0945: Spent a magical five minutes watching G1 Jockey clips on You Tube. Set me up for the day.

0930: Just been to the gents and on the cubicle wall people have been writing racing tips all week. Steve argued "Voy Pour (sic) Ustedes is a certaintity. Believe me!" I did Steve, I did. Sadly "Daz" has ruined the ambience by drawing a male member on the wall and signing his work

0916: Ian Harrison remains obsessed with jellied eels. He writes: "Many of your punting problems would appear to stem from a serious lack of brain food during racemeetings. Jellied eels, with a hint of paprika, chili vinegar and a slice of bread are ideal for sharpening the judgement in a way a hamburger cannot match. It is also better for your cholesterol levels! Copes van used, many years ago, to be parked within easy reach of the press room, uphill from the old Tattersalls Stand. Have a little eachway on Neptune Collonges in the big one. Good punting!". Ian is a nice man but the tumble dryer that is my digestive system will not cope with sea food of any variety.

0910: Dry night here - well it was in my Evesham hotel room. Had a run in with the reception manager this morning over refunding the breakfasts I didn't have. Noticed when I walked past later she had written a rude word on her notepad.

0900: Morning - but not a good one. There is a food poisoning scare among my party, two of the five members have yet to emerge from the traps. I'm fine at this stage but did commentthat I wasn't convinced my bangers and mash were cooked through last night.