All times GMT
1750: Thanks - largely - to the Placepot, to Alexander Severus beating Miss Seranne in a match bet (see 1316), to a distances bet, to Well Chief, and to What A Friend finishing out of the frame - it's been a seriously good day's punting. They can't take that new tyre off me now because I can afford to pay for it (and besides, I've got locking wheel nuts). But once the money has long been spent, this day will still be remembered for further Irish domination, for a remarkable performance from Dunguib in the bumper, for a second Champion Chase victory for Master Minded, but also for the sportsmanship of the Cheltenham crowd as they recognised the performance of Well Chief - and trainer David Pipe - as he returned from a two-year absence to chase home the winner. Ruby Walsh already looks to have the leading jockey title in his pocket, having booted home three winners this afternoon, but only one has come for the gaffer Paul Nicholls. It will be interesting to read what the proper journalists make of Master Minded's victory - I wasn't blown away and nor were the BHA handicappers who reckoned afterwards that he had run at least a stone below his performance last year. But he did it and that's what matters. Ladies and gentlemen, we are halfway through the Cheltenham Festival. And despite all of the fun that's gone so far, I strongly suspect that the best is still yet to come.
1740: Robert Thornton has been taken to hospital for precautionary tests after receiving a kick in the stomach when Big Zeb fell in the Champion Chase.
1731: I need to sleep. These early starts are no good for my ageing bones. But although I might be feeling the strain, the Irish punters don't seem to be as a huge throng - most of whom seem to own Dunguib, know someone who owns Dunguib, have a friend who knows someone who etc etc - gather in and around the winner's enclosure after the bumper. I get the feeling that some people will be celebrating all night and most of the morning after today.
1725: I am confidently expecting a press release extolling the virtues of Ireland, Irish racing and all that is vaguely emerald-coloured to be being produced as I write. Punters who took the 5-2 on eight or more Irish winners during the week have been paid out with two whole days to go.
1722: Godolphin might be interested in that winner. Very, very impressive.
1720: I got my Connells and O'Connells mixed up there. Thought he was giving it a good ride. I can't help but get the feeling that the guy who threw his hat up into the air was going to do it whatever was in front. Willie Mullins didn't even get one in the first three. What a palaver.
1715: The going is now 'Good to Soft' all round (ie no Soft places) - worth keeping this in mind when you're doing your calculations for tomorrow.
1704: Now I'm going to play that game where you get the Placepot dividend up on the screen and slowly reveal across the page, from the right, using a piece of paper, unveiling a digit at a time.
1703: Not that I'm saying you shouldn't. It's up to you. I just never win in the bumper.
1700: I know I keep saying I'm not having a bet and then having one. I'm sure that's incredibly annoying for you. But just to let you know, I'm really not having a bet in the Bumper. I haven't backed anything. I'm not backing anything. It's just not my thing. Sorry.
1653: Latest traffic news, just broadcast - "roads around Cheltenham and the racecourse are busy due to race traffic". Thank God for the information revolution, that's what I say.
1648: What do you know? I have got a piece of it. If that great oinker Alexander Severus had been run out of fourth, it would have been a serious piece, but I must stop complaining. I did stick a few quid on the winner last night too, despite my brother assuring me that it couldn't win. I've already had the obligatory 'Hope you ignored me' text that you have to send when you've put your mate right away. I never listen though, as he'll testify.
1640: This Placepot could pay a few quid. Hope I get a piece of it.
1630: Matt T, who was pretending to be ill earlier, is now also pretending to have got the forecast as well as backing the winner. Oh all right, I do believe you. Well done. Now you won't ever have to go back to work. Well, something like that.
1615: £169.99 for the forecast in that last race. Anyone know anyone who got it? No? Well I do. Jonny blimmin Rose, yesterday's free bet winner, that's who. Having promised me at the start of the day that he wouldn't be having a bet, he sent me an email 10 minutes before the race saying that he had cracked and would be having a reverse forecast on Ninetieth Minute and Mirage Dore. Go Jonny, go go go. At least that'll save the firm a free bet - you won't be wasting your time with small bets like £50 anymore. Now go and buy your son a proper birthday present!
1611: Well, I won't be taking the crown jewels home with me, but I've still got enough to pay for a new tyre. Just in case. I'm almost expecting it now. A fair Placepot result as well, although I could have done with a few more outsiders making the frame - when you lay out as much as I do on the placepot, you're always hoping for the impossible.
1552: News round-up - Tricky Trickster will go for the Scottish National (trainer knows how to win the race), while Willie Mullins will take Cooldine and Mikael d'Haguenet to Punchestown. Carruthers is finished for the season.
1550: Buoyed by success, I've just had some more on my three fancies for the next - Chief Yeoman, Larkwing and Door Boy. All juicy prices.
1547: Well you can have it all. But you shouldn't really. The bookmakers are taking a bit of a caning today now.
1543: Nobody likes a boaster, but I'm having a great day. In the Queen Mother, I backed Scotsirish to beat Ashley Brook, Mahogany Blaze to beat Santa's Son and Well Chief without the favourite. And they all won. My bet on Master Minded to win by more than 11 lengths went down, but you can't have it all.
1535: Great news that Big Zeb got up unscathed after that horrible fall. Worth noting that Well Chief got a great round of applause himself as he came back into the winner's enclosure in second. William Hill are a stand-out 11-10 about Master Minded returning next year and winning the race again. I cannot imagine that price will last more than 15 minutes. He might not have won by a mile, but once again he's beaten the best around and he'll only be seven next year.
1530: Job done, I suppose. In a way, I'd have preferred to have seen either Well Chief give him a bit more of a race or for him to have won by 30 lengths. And we got neither. He wasn't as impressive as he was last year. But, at the end of the day, he's gone and done it.
1525: Thank goodness. A fair start and we're off for what ought to be one of the races of the Festival.
1523: What a ridiculous mess. They shouldn't let him line up again. How much ground does he want to try and steal?
1520: The site of one leading bookmaker is, according to my computer, down for "scheduled maintenance" with two minutes to go before the Champion Chase. They've obviously got some strange ideas about scheduling in Harrow.
1518: Master Minded now 4-11 as the bookies try and get it beat - he's nearing the point where he becomes backable, isn't he?
1511: The winner of today's free bet is 'Peas n Gravy Davy'. He has lost his betting slip and explains that it could be in one of three places - 1) the bookies "next to the free biscuits left out" 2) the cafe "full monty breakfast" or 3) the pub "two pints". Now that's my kind of morning. Drop me another email with your Skybet username and I'll do my best for you.
1504: Jolyon Williams is hoping that the fridge man doesn't disturb his enjoyment of the Champion Chase. "My afternoon is in danger of being interrupted by a fridge repairman after my girlfriend discovered her veg had frozen in the fridge. If he shows up any time during a race, he'll have to wait outside," he writes. I'd hang a sign on the door to explain the situation, although as you live in France and I can't speak French, I don't know what I'd write on it. How about "Non"?
1456: Chris Finnegan has given me permission to re-instate 'Big Old Boat' about What A Friend. Bit harsh, possibly, but he certainly didn't come up the hill.
1453: Willie Mullins has just revealed that Cooldine was lame this morning and has had his foot in a bucket of ice today. Incredible stuff. How did he keep it quiet? The Irish are absolutely obliterating the home team at the 2009 Festival. There is an enormous roar around the winner's enclosure as the winner comes back. Surely Master Minded can put things right in the next? This could turn out to be a day that Ruby Walsh won't ever forget.
1451: Rarely can a well-backed favourite have looked so sure to score from such an early stage of a Grade One race at the Festival. A bulldozer of a performance. Carruthers deserves loads of credit for doing such a good job, despite making a number of massive mistakes, but he was just a sitting duck for most of the way.
1441: I have been asked to revise my opinion on What A Friend. I have re-graded him from 'big old boat' to 'lean and lengthy hound'.
1435: Are you back from the bookies, Noel Bell? Martin Brassil has one of the quietest voices in racing, possibly the quietest in Ireland. Well he must have waited until last week before raising his voice, because suddenly everyone knew about Ambobo and the thing was backed down from 20-1 to 16s, then 14s, then 12s and now nearly finds itself at the head of the betting for the Coral Cup. Is it a plot horse, Noel? Yes. Does that mean it will win? No. Could it win? Without a doubt.
1432: Diamond Harry is finished for the season, according to connections, and will be given a quieter campaign this year.
1420: Karabak didn't jump fluently when he was buried in the pack, but stayed on strongly once he got into the clear on the outside. He's done really well and Diamond Harry deserves plenty of credit too for sticking on into third. Some nice horses in that race. The recent record of winners of the Ballymore is pretty dire - the race seems to have bottomed out quite a few of them. Hopefully that trend can be turned around soon as these looked a nice bunch.
1410: I have just heard the least-tuneful rendition of 'Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby' ever. It came from a journalist who had, I believe, backed the winner. That's a smart horse. Willie Mullins has got a few of them at the moment.
1356: Kev in Massachusetts wins the award for longest-distance email. His winning formula has stood him in good stead for 30 years apparently. I suppose we ought to be grateful to him for letting us know them, but today's "stand-out" bets are Mikael d'Whatsit in the next and Meath All Star in the bumper.
1353: Alan Higgins is "sat praying at his desk" in the hope that his boss sends him home early. Is anybody actually working today? Anyway,Alan's got something to get excited about now that the first of his four selections for the day has won - I hope you did them in a multiple. His next selection is Massini's Maguire in the RSA Chase. I think you've got something good going here.
1349: Mike Gallagher fancies Lough Derg in the Coral Cup. If that horse can defy top-weight against such a mountain of unexposed potential handicap jobs, then I won't bet for the rest of the Festival. Lovely horse, no chance. Sorry, Mike.
1346: The woman who was behind me in the bacon sandwich queue is now in the winner's enclosure as a part-owner (it would seem). She never said a thing.
1340: A thrilling finish to the first race of the day. What a race. I appear to have got the Exacta up too. Oh me, oh my. A great ride from Sam Waley-Cohen. Poor old Drumconvis - did that mistake at the fourth-last ultimately cost him victory? Can't Buy Time for the Betfred/Whitbread/Can't remember-what-it's-now-called race? Nine de Sivola for the Scottish National?
1316: Sticking to my 'Tony-McCoy-eases-up-when-he-knows-he's-beaten' theory, I've backed Alexander Severus in a match bet to beat Miss Sarenne in the Fred Winter. You think I'm making these bets up, don't you - I'm not. Ask my bank manager. My monthly bank statement in March accounts for most of the missing Brazillian rain forest.
1312: I've taken the laptop into the stands to be among my public. A man about four feet to my left is telling his mate how "kids these days might look 'ard, but they can't take a good kickin' like we used to". Meanwhile, a man with a battered green trilby, huge grey sideburns and an enormously long but strangely thin cigar is on my other side. Altogether now... 'doo, doo, doo, doo-de-doo, doo-de-doo-doo, it takes every kind of people...'
1308: I won't be going low on the distances today - not with the National Hunt Chase, the RSA Chase and Master Minded on the same card. In fact, I might be going high.
1306: In recent years, the National Hunt Chase has been a bit of a safe haven for slow old plodders, owned by nice people who want to have a runner at the Cheltenham Festival. This year's contest looks unfeasibly competitive with good, solid horses like Coe (who are fully proven against good handicappers) available at near-double-figures. Coe could have been the 2-1 favourite in some previous renewals, when the entry conditions were slightly different.
1300: Just went to get a sandwich (a lovely BLT with freshly-sizzled bacon for four quid - bargain) and I am now behind with your emails. Sorry. It's a bit like sending thank-you letters after Christmas. I always mean to reply to everyone, but... It seems a little easier in the stands today. There was a small queue for the gents, while I just whistled to the front yesterday, although that may be something to do with the groaning noises coming out of one the cubicles. Punters are playing up their McManus/O'Neill/McCoy winnings from yesterday on to Can't Buy Time in the opener - 6-1 this morning but 4-1 and falling now.
1232: I don't think Chris Finnegan is a Man United fan - he is laying both the Reds and Fergie's horse What A Friend today. United should, in my opinion, get through tonight in a competition that is rapidly on its way to becoming so uncompetitive that British teams will be forced to lose a player just to even things up. As for What A Friend, someone whose opinion I respect sees it as one of the bets of the Festival. I see it as a big old boat with a funny head carriage who'll pack it in when he's asked to come off the bridle. It's a game of opinions.
1227: Rich reckons Dan Tucker is "a job" in the first at Huntingdon today andhe might well have a point, looking at the form. Some great gambles have been landed over the years at "the other meetings" while the Festival is on. Mick Easterby was at it yesterday, so maybe it's time for the Bests to do their thing today. Unlike some, I have no problems with betting on lady jockeys' races. The cream often tends to rise to the top.
1223: Matt T is skiving from work to watch Cheltenham (surely you don't expect me to believe that you're in bed because you're genuinely ill, do you? I'm not your boss, you can be honest with me) and puts in a good word for Massini's Maguire in the RSA Chase. Previous blog readers will know that I am already on this horse, having been really taken with his run behind Herecomesthetruth in the Scilly Isles at Sandown. Philip Hobbs says he isn't sure about his stamina over this trip, but I think he's crying out for a good test and his Festival experience can't be a bad thing. I'm with you, Matt. Not literally. Or we'd both have your made-up flu.
1220: I've been accused via email of having had a 'wee swally' last night. The only thing I swallyed was my tongue when I saw my flat tyre. Well, maybe I had something medicinal afterwards, but it was just to comfort my nerves. Not for pleasure, you understand.
1217: Clive Smith seems more relaxed today than I have ever seen him at Cheltenham before. This horse (Master Minded) must win today, mustn't he?
1200: I think so far I have backed nine horses for the Coral Cup and neither are the favourites - The Polomoche and Psycho. Now Jonny Rose is encouraging me to consider Ninetieth Minute and Mirage Dore. Eleven would be ridiculous, wouldn't it?
1158: Having splashed out seven quid on one of these dinky earpiece radio things (so that I can give you the news - as it happens) (and he said he couldn't give me a receipt), I have learned so much already. Lydia Hislop has just given an astonishing display of specialist knowledge on 'The Tudors' in a celebrity edition of MasterMind(ed). Remarkable.
1145: It's happening again. This blog only seems to be read by people who are in far-flung corners of the globe. Ray Hadden claims to be in Bergen, Norway (although 'Ray' doesn't sound very Norwegian, does it?). It's a beautiful day here, Ray.
1140: A friend whose wedding I am ushing at in May has just warned me that it will be sparkling grape juice rather than Champers if Master Minded fails to do what he's supposed to today. I am genuinely excited by the possibility of this horse doing something stupendous today (ie winning by 25 lengths or more). I just hope Ruby lets the throttle out a bit and lets us see what he can do.
1115: It's each to their own today. Those who have snaffled up the fancy prices about the likes of Sicilian Secret and Alexander Severus will be relishing the last two races, but I can't excited about either. They're both just impossible, as far as I'm concerned. I much prefer the Coral Cup today, where there are three our at big prices that I am very keen on. Door Boy was well-regarded when Jessie Harrington and hasn't been at all disgraced this season, including when only seven lengths behind Diamond Harry. If that one goes and wins the Ballymore, then take the 40-1 on Door Boy quickly! I am also very keen on Chief Yeoman. He won a really competitive event at Sandown over 2m6f that always throws up some good horses and remains not fully exposed beyond two miles, having run another cracker back down in trip last time. Venetia Williams always seems to have at least one Festival winner these days and I reckon this will run a massive race. Finally, Larkwing was a serious horse on the Flat and finally gets his chance over a trip thatshould suit. These three are all chunky prices and I fancy that at least one will give us a run for our money.
1110: Paul Jacobs, being interviewed on Festival Radio about how to judge a horse's wellbeing from paddock appearance, has just told listeners that "the ears are the gateway to the horse's mind".
1054: Well, what do you know? You know that feeling when you check your account balance and there's more money in it (or a lower minus figure) than you expected? Turns out I won that distances bet yesterday. Having backed 'less than 18 lengths', when the last weighed in at 14, I just presumed that the bet must have gone down. But evidently, it didn't.
1050: Make no mistake, it's a seriously hard card today and I fancy the Placepot dividend to be four figures. Barring Master Minded, there aren't any bankers. Get Master Minded out of the frame and you could nearly take the lot...
1040: The early movers are filtering through. The Polomoche has been well tipped in Pricewise and is 7-1 from 9-1 with Sky Bet in the Coral Cup, a race in which that firm are paying each-way punters on five places and refunding stakes if you back the sixth. Unsurprisingly, the value hunters have been out in force with Sky Bet as a result and also popular in that race have been Larkwing and Altilhar at long odds. Also popular with all firms today have been Alexander Severus (Fred Winter Hurdle) and Cooldine (RSA Chase), the latter being particularly strongly supported after Willie Mullins nominated him on television as his best bet of the day.
1036: What was the correct answer when the tyre man asked me whether I was 'down for the Festival?'. Was he going to charge me more if I said yes, or more if I said no? Would he feel sorry for me having come all this way only to get a puncture, or think that he could fleece this rich out-of-towner? In the end, I said 'erm...' He gave me a funny look.
1035: On Friday, I got my first-ever puncture. Four days later, I got my second. As I was leaving the course last night, I was feeling pretty pleased with myself. I bumped into an old mate, who told me how unlucky he'd been with Maljimar and I felt the inner glow of knowing I'd backed the horse who nailed him on the line - Wichita Lineman. I tried not to seem smug, but I probably did. Then I walked over to my car, looked down to check on my lovely new top-of-the-range tyre which I was forced to buy on Friday so that I could get down south for Sandown the next day. And it was flat as a pancake. Somehow I'd picked up another nail, right through the side wall. So today I'm 130quid down again, before a single race has been run. This might be the breaking of a lesser man, but great punters can roll with the punches. And I shall have the last laugh today. Fingers crossed, anyway.
1030: The gates are about to be opened to the public. The burgers are frantically being fried, the doughnuts dunked and the bookmakers are ready to do business.
1015: So, in other words, save me the hassle of having to do so and tell me what's going to win. Email me in your tips and other nonsense and the best email of the day will win a £50 free bet with Sky Bet (at least I think that's what we agreed upon, I still can't remember - that said, nobody from Sky Bet's rung me to say that I can't give away £50 free bets which has got to be a good sign). Yesterday's tips varied from the good and the bad to the ugly. I'm sure you can do better. Come on Karl Hedley, I know you're out there...
1010: How early do you think you would have to get up at the Festival to feel fully-prepared for racing? I was breakfasting at 7am and anyone who knows me would tell you that they'd be lucky to geteven a grunt out of me at that time of the morning usually. But even having been up for three hours, I feel like I haven't done nearly enough work on today's card. Can you ever truly feel fully confident when there are so many horses, so many angles to consider, so much to absorb?
1000: I feel bad. I promised that I would be here at 9am every day without fail, but I've let everyone down - most of all, myself. However I have an excuse. A good one. I'll tell you what it is later. Welcome to the second day of the Cheltenham Festival where after a dry night, the going remains unchanged and conditions should be almost perfect. If you are a jumps racing fan, I don't know how you can possibly not be excited. Today I hope and expect Master Minded to confirm his position as simply the greatest steeplechaser anywhere in the world right now. There's also competitive renewals of the Ballymore Properties Hurdle and the RSA Chase, a National Hunt Chase that must be the hottest edition I can ever recall, a couple of appropriately-impossible handicaps and the Willie Mullins Championship Irish Carve-Up Bumper. What a day.
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