1800: Always like to sign off on a positive note and John Kettley is apparently forecasting sleet tomorrow. Is that better or worse than snow? Don't like the sound of it though. Confirmed the fingerless gloves are heading into town.

1755: It's now very cold at Cheltenham. Will spend much of the evening trying to find my fingerless gloves that were labelled a ludicrous purchase by some last November. Who's laughing now? Probably those with full fingered gloves.

1740: You now can't move for bookmakers' reps walking around grinning from ear to ear. They've kept the "pot" today by all accounts.

1720: Something has happened which has led to a flood of people dashing to all viewing points. Initial reports suggested a streaker but it seems to have been a row involvimg a well known bookmaker.

1710: Just the bumper to go now. Seems a warm renewal and any one of 12 could win by all accounts. Never been good at tricky puzzles or sudoko either.

1645: The nominations for the Guinness Award are Paul Carberry, John Joseph Murphy and AJ McNamara. Carberry outsider of three for me.

1640: Just looked up to see them at the post of the Kim Muir. Transpires the TV I was watching was not showing live coverage. Dashing to the stand as a result.

1630: Great news. I'm back on the Guinness panel and the self-imposed boycott of the black stuff is over. It didn't go that well to be honest. I forgot about it at lunchtime and have been feeling sore about it ever since.

1625: When Cheltenham is over I think I'll start writing a list of my pet hates. People who stand on stairways are currently hurtling towards the number one spot quicker than Chico's second single.

1620: The less said about that the better. Scornful looks all round and another table for one for the evening meal I fear. I am also becoming increasingly concerned by my ability to walk behind people pushing bins.

1540: The time has come. When JP McManus heads to the betting ring a buzz is heard across the racecourse. Fear the Floral Dance will be the only thing I hear in there. Can Fair Question finally win me some affection from my travelling companions? Just seen the Countess of Wessex's hat for the first time. It is maroon and quite tall.

1535: News filtering through that Moscow Flyer has been retired.

1530: Well we never saw that coming. It was a Champion Chase full of incident. I knew it was going to be dramatic when Pete Tong seemed to take over the music arranegements for the parade. Newmill jumped his rivals ragged. Simple as that. Kauto Star took a nasty fall but seemed to gallop away ok and Moscow Flyer ran his heart out. The problem is that at the age of 12 the old legs can't get him from a to b quite as quickly. The competitive spirit is still there and it is a shame his late rally didn't carry him into the first four. He deserved another trip to the winners' enclosure at the very least.

1505: Big one now. Heart says Moscow Flyer. Head says Kauto Star too short. No other part of the body speaking at present so no bet.

1450: The stats men are wearing a sorry frown at present. Star de Mahaison is my second novice chase winner of the week. I may become a specialist.

1445: Good news. The Countess of Wessex is here. She arrived by Range Rover. Wearing a nice hat too I'm told. She seems to be surrounded by 20 snooker referees who look resplendent in their white gloves.

1330: Heading out now for the first. No bet for me. Denman will probably win but I'll leave him to the bigger fish in the betting ring. This sprat is going to the members' lawn.

1320: Incredibly I have missed the arrival of the Countess of Wessex. Not sure if she snuck in hidden in the back of a burger van or flew in via helicopter but I couldn't see rows of kids with union jacks to greet her anywhere. They were there when Prince Andrew came to Wakefield.

1310: I am reliably informed by the resident stats man that at least three of my fancies can't win this afternoon. Star de Mohaison is too young for the Royal & SunAlliance Novices' Chase and he positively chortled when told I could see five-year-olds Afrad and Phar Bleu running well in the Coral Cup.

1305: All thoughts now on the afternoon action and I am a man under pressure. The party I am down here with have a tipping contest with the winner each day putting the team bet on for the next afternoon. Thanks to Voy Por Ustedes that's me this time. I have the communal £100 safely in the grey slacks and plan to put in on Fair Question in the Coral Cup. Fear if it wins I may turn into Arthur Fowler with the Christmas Club money and be last seen haring over Cleeve Hill with a hit pitch squeal.

1300: The mobile phone is red hot (one call from Will Hayler). Apparently there was a pub in Cheltenham last night which had topless barmaids working there. It was £3 in. Pleased to say the only chestal nudity in the Cotswold Inn where I am staying was a man who had to take his t-shirt off having spilled a pint of cider down it. And he didn't charge.

1245: A brief visit to the Centaur and it seems as though the jazz band has a week-long booking. They are growing too - Mike had company on the microphone furthest to the right. Think they were playing the theme to Test Match Special which did earn a ripple of applause. Not sure the man on saxophone didn't make an obscene hand gesture half way through though. He was enjoying himself and I am told by a music lover there with me that he was merely keeping time.

1230: Went for the drink. Convinced myself that if the ancestors could cope with the vikings so could modern man. Need not have worried as I never saw any one remotely capable of an afternoon of pillaging. The brass band did start to play the Floral Dance as I walked past though. Not sure how to take that.

1140: Was thinking of going for a drink but as I can hear a brass band playing the Antique Roadshow theme tune and a party of 20 people dressed like vikings has just walked past it may be safer to stay here.

1130: The day has taken a turn for the better. Spoken to Carl Llewellyn who has walked the track. Good ground now he says, it has dried out a bit. I haven't walked the track but the grass in front of the stands also seems a little firmer than yesterday so I agree with Carl.

1045 The omens aren't good for today. Yet to track down our pundit Carl Llewellyn for his preview and the new grey slacks are marked on the left leg. At this rate I will be reduced to wearing shorts on Gold Cup day.

1040: It's been a day of stars so far. Spoken to Steve Smith Eccles who was last seen trying to track down a cup of coffee he had put down somewhere and just seen on the schedule the Countess of Wessex is due here today. Not sure which one she is but will find out at 1pm, her scheduled arrival.

1030: My taxi driver informs me this is most untypical Cheltenham weather. He finds it depressing. Not sure why as it's dry and the sort of temperature that allows me to wear a big coat that covers a multitude of sins and chins. Brightening up now anyway. Think his late night finish may have inspired the demons.

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