Best Mate - missing this year.

By Will Hayler

It's not only the words 'National Hunt' that will be missing from the 2005 Cheltenham Festival.

Sunday's Racing Post reported 'absolute carnage' among ante-post punters after a stream of late defections over the last seven days for some of the meeting's biggest races.

None will be felt more this week than that of Best Mate, who misses his bid at a fourth day of Gold Cup glory after suffering a setback last Thursday.

But already since news broke of Best Mate's absence, his name has been joined on the sick list by two more likely favourites, Ollie Magern and Ambobo.

Most of my press-room collagues have been afflicted by backing at least one of these late scratchings and I'm sorry to say that I am no exception.

Having been tipped the wink about Power Elite's chances in the County Hurdle I waded in last week and snapped up some 9-1 and 8-1.

Then when my mole started to go cool and suggested that Al Eile might be the one for the race, I saved on the other Irish horse at around the same price.

Saturday's entries revealed that neither of the pair would be lining up and having heard that the legendary JP McManus had a sneaking fancy for Al Eile in the Champion Hurdle I couldn't help but wonder whether the power of his cash might outway my measly each-way wager when it came to deciding where Al Eile would run.

It's sour grapes, of course. But what would Cheltenham be without at least one conspiracy story whereby those dastardly bookies robbed you of your hard-earned.

And one thing's for sure - when it comes to doing your dough there's always someone with a worse hard-luck tale than yourself and you'll probably find him in the Arkle Bar at the end of play.

But here - what you've been waiting for - are my five top five tips for a fun-filled and profitable Festival.

1) If you only have one bet each day then for pete's sake make it a placepot. The Tote Placepot pays a decent dividend every day at Cheltenham and if you're prepared to go for a touch with a few outsiders then you could be seriously rich. The joy of the placepot is that you're playing against other punters and at Cheltenham there's no shortage of other mugs (sorry, experts) who will pump ill-informed money into the pools. At Cheltenham, you simply must have a go at winning their cash.

2) Don't be afraid to have a quick scan through the cards at the day's 'other' meetings. Shrewd stables often use these days to land some of their biggest touches when the bookies' warning systems might be less sensitive than usual.

3) Get out, take in the atmosphere, don't linger in the bars or you'll miss out on a winner you 'would have backed etc etc but you didn't realise the race was about to start etc etc'

4) If you're at home watching from the comfort of your armchair, lock the door, keep all supplies you might require close at hand throughout including a bedpan if necessary.

5) Back l'Ange au Ciel in the Grand Annual Chase. Just do it.

So there you have it. All you need to know. Once more unto the breach, dear friends.