Cheeky rises to the challenge
Many have tried, but nobody has succeeded in taking his crown. The inimitable Cheeky Punt takes you through his weekly betting lows and highs with the original punting blog.
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I booked a day off work last week in an attempt to box off my Christmas shopping.
However all I really succeeded in doing was to underline the fact that in 2013 I need to get rid of my mobile phone.
I'd been awake precisely 12 minutes when I piled into the Adelaide Strikers at 8/15 and it took me a further three minutes to realise I was betting on T20 cricket and not football.
I have lost touch with many of my old school pals. Most I presume will now be settled down with kids. Family Saloon car. Foreign holidays. Quilted toilet paper. I doubt if any of them were conkers deep, risking the Christmas present money, betting on the T20 Big Bash.
The bet won, but it only set me off on a betting binge that lasted for 14 hours. I didn't get any Christmas presents. I didn't leave the house. In fact I didn't even get a shower. However I ended the day £170 in front so it's swings and roundabouts I guess.
I always feel sad on Christmas morning. I used to put it down to feeling sorry for those poor children who would be waking up to an apple and an orange or worse, a pair of Hike socks. However it's probably down to knowing there are no betting shops open and precious little live sport to bet on.
Thank baby Jesus then for the internet. After scouring Oddschecker I found out that India were playing Pakistan in a T20 match. And before you could say 'The boy has demons' I was loading up on India at 4/5.
Problem was I was having my Christmas dinner at 'er indoors mam and dad's house. Her mam is a traditionalist who wanted to watch the Queen's Christmas Message and so didn't take kindly to my message to her, which was "stick Sky Sports on please Debs".
In the end Pakistan prevailed with two balls to spare. Thoroughly depressed, I began gorging on Quality Streets until I passed out on their couch.
Boxing Day was a tough one for me. Despite backing Darlan and Long Run at 3/1 and 2/1 respectively at Kempton I still managed to end the day a wedge down, thanks mainly to Manchester City's inability to beat Sunderland.
Feeling sorry for myself at home, and with 'er indoors paying me no attention as she bashed away on her new iPad, I decided to hit the drink. There were two house parties on the go so at 5pm I bade my better half farewell.
I stumbled back in the door at 6:45am and given she was at work the missus was less than impressed. However if you are reading this darling, there was no need to lock me in the house and hide my footwear.
I took her actions as a direct challenge and so when a mate of mine came knocking looking for ale, I exited the house via my front room window dressed in my new Christmas slippers. Obviously I was getting some strange looks when we walked in the pub but seven Kopparberg ciders later I was beyond caring.
Cheeky's Punt of the Week: Michael Van Gerwen to win the PDC Darts Championships at 3/1 (General)