Cheeky Advice for Rod

  • By: Cheeky Punt
  • Last Updated: November 14 2012, 20:17 GMT

Many have tried, but nobody has succeeded in taking his crown. The inimitable Cheeky Punt takes you through his weekly betting lows and highs with the original punting blog.

Is Prince Charles joining Cheeky in telling Rod to man up?

Last Tuesday saw one of the great British footballing performances as Celtic beat the mighty Barcelona 2-1 in the Champions League.

I thought Barca were a bit short at 1/3 or thereabouts before the off so steered well clear but I couldn't help checking their price at half-time when 1-0 down. And when I saw 5/4 against my little eyes lit up with pound signs and I was soon involved to the tune of 80 sheets.

We all know what happened after that of course. The Hoops slayed the Catalan giants and Rod Stewart captured the hearts of Celts everywhere by weeping in the stands.

Man up Rod! You are worth over £100million and are married to a Penny Lancaster. Try surviving on £37.44 (my net worth after Celtic's win) and living with a woman who has less respect for you than she does for your average traffic warden.

Thursday night was a weird one. I must have texted over 35 people in my phone and told anyone who would listen that Club Brugge were knocking bet material to beat Newcastle at 6/4.

The Geordies were making nine changes to the side that had drawn 1-1 with Liverpool and the Belgians were no slouches anyway on home soil.

I finished work and as I was parking up next to the bookies I began to receive several texts such including 'Well done that man' 'Cheers pal' and the rather cryptic 'Mince one fella'.

I thought it was very chivalrous for people to thank me for a tip pre-match and it was only when I entered the bookies to be greeted with a screen saying Brugge were 1/20 in-play did I realise the match was a 6pm kick-off (as opposed to 8pm) and my knocking bets were 2-0 up.

I don't mind admitting I then went back to my car and had something of a nervous breakdown. I began whimpering quietly at first but that soon gave way to a primal yowl before I began to hit my head off my window in Yosser Hughes-esque fashion as startled shoppers hurried past me into Farm Foods.

After enduring so many bad beats (I had lost over 18 bets in a row at that point) I felt I had reached the end as I sat in the car staring at my reflection in the rear view mirror.

However just when all seemed lost, when darkness threatened to swallow me whole, the radio dude reported that Newcastle had pulled a goal back in Belgium. I started the car. And by the time I had reached home it was, unbelievably, 2-2. Talk about mood swings. The Ameobi brothers probably don't know it of course, but they saved me from the abyss last week.

So sincerely, from the heart, mince one fellas!

I was cursing the Scots again at the weekend. On Saturday dinner-time I had myself a wedge on Inverness Caledonian Thistle to beat Hearts at 7/5. Inverness were 1-0 up before conceding a penalty in the 90th minute that was duly converted.

I then had a treble consisting of Everton, Crystal Palace and Cowdenbeath. The Toffees and the Eagles duly obliged, but the Blue Brazil somehow lost at home to rock-bottom Dumbarton.

On Sunday 'The Big Woodowski' staked me £100 and we both backed Barcelona (-1) against Mallorca in a double with Andy Murray to beat Roger Federer in the World Tour Finals.

Barca won 4-2 but Murray shambled to a straight sets defeat at the O2. I am already into Woody for 80 sovs and am worried about squaring the debt.

You see 'TBW' is not a man to be messed with. He is the type of man who goes into Burger King, orders a McFlurry... and gets it.

Cheeky's Punt of the Week: Spain to win the Davis Cup at 11/10 (Betfred, Paddy Power)