Lucky Pants Do the Trick
Many have tried, but nobody has succeeded in taking his crown. The inimitable Cheeky Punt takes you through his weekly betting lows and highs with the original punting blog.
As regular readers of this column will know I am a man beset by demons.
I've had huge problems with John Barleycorn and gambling over the years but you can now throw in drunken eBay-ing.
Yes folks over the past few weeks it has become a real problem for yours truly and never more so than last week when I was embroiled in a bidding war for a pair of lucky Paddy Power y-fronts.
In the end I ended up paying £31 (plus postage and packing) for a pair I was not even sure at the time were new.
Embarrassingly however this is was not even my lowest ebb where the online action site is concerned.
Steamballs one night many moons ago, while still living at home with my folks, I bought a full size rubber horse mask.
I'd clean forgot about the purchase when, several days later, I asked my long suffering mother to open the mystery packet over the phone as I was out.
I'll never forget her response as she said in a polite but gravely concerned manner, "Son, is everything OK?"
Last Wednesday night was another rollercoaster one in Chez Punt. Having backed Juan Martin Del Potro to beat Andy Roddick 3-1 in sets at 9/2 I felt like the boss of the whole world sat at home in my new Paddy Power pants eating Nerds.
I gave Roddick, who had won me a few quid during his run to US Open glory in 2003 but far more betting against him whenever he turned up on clay over the years, a standing ovation as he saluted the crowd on Arthur Ashe for the final time.
I should of called it a night but just before switching the laptop and TV off I spotted 8/15 about Marin Cilic in-running in his quarter-final match against Andy Murray in New York.
Cilic was a set and 5-1 up and with Murray playing like a complete spanner I thought it was a gift of a price so had myself £200.
I then watched in horror as Murray reeled off the next five games in a row before taking a subsequent tie-break to level up.
Muzza then raced through the next two sets as Cilic shambled about while sweating like a fat cowboy's horse.
I was still a few quid in front for the night but was loathe to call it quits on such a low note.
Instead I had a sly rub of the new green y-fronts before unloading £200 on Tomas Berdych at 9/2 to beat Roger Federer in the evening's other quarter-final.
Fast forward a touch over three hours later and Berdych was celebrating arms aloft in NY having vanquished Federer 3-1 in sets.
Lucky Pants 1 Camel Coats 0
I'd changed my grundigs by Friday but nevertheless I still managed to bring home the bacon in that evening's World Cup qualifiers.
My main bet of Belgium to beat Wales (5/6) and England to beat Moldova (1/3) scooted home but I also managed to nail a treble consisting of Republic of Ireland (8/11), Romania (evens) and Russia (1/5) courtesy of the Irish scoring twice in the final two minutes to beat Kazakhstan.
I followed that up with a thick bet on Victoria Azarenka at 4/9 to beat Maria Sharapova in their US Open semi-final.
After such a touch the weekend was spent in predictable disgrace. Saturday was hugely enjoyable other than the fact I ruined a pristine new Ralph Lauren shirt and the number of booze joints I am barred from supping alcohol in now stands at six.
And I spent Sunday like I am sure the majority of you did, ie topless in a back garden drinking vodka slushes while wearing a Bjorn Borg headband.
Cheeky's Punt of the Week: Andy Murray to win Sports Personality of the Year at 3/1 (Paddy Power).