Never trust a team with extravagant hair-dos!
In tandem with Pele, arguably a useful judge of football, I expected the hirsute Colombians to stage a shock or two in both the 1990 and 1994 World Cups.
After a disappointing last 16 exit to Cameroon in the first tournament and a failure even to reach that stage four years later, a team of outstanding talent crumbled amid an avalanche of recriminations.
Warning signs were there from the off with players looking to have spent more time in the hairdressers than on the training pitch.
Perms that would have been considered outlandish in a glam rock band had obviously taken up valuable preparation tme to create.
And when it came to the crunch, the hours lost on petty things like marking at crosses and constructing a proper offside trap had been wasted.
The Italians arrived at Euro 2004 today with a weird and wonderful collection of pony-tails.
Whether this was in memory of retired but revered Roberto Baggio was unclear but it soon emerged that vital squad time learning to pass to each other had gone by the wayside.
The Danes, sensible haircuts to a man apart from Christian Poulsen's ragged blond locks, grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck and gave one of the pre-tournament favourites a close shave in a 0-0 draw in hot Guimaraes.
Mauro Camoranesi's eye-catching scrunchy top belied a performance of unwarranted dullness.
And the king of the alice band, Francesco Totti added a display that confirmed why the Italians invented the word 'prima donna'.
One incisive through ball was balanced by a dreadful shin high lunge on Rene Henriksen in the final minute.
Italy coach Giovanni Trapattoni threatened changes for their next clash after being outmanoeuvred by the neat and efficent Danes and less time in front of the bathroom mirror might be his first option.
Totti is a hero in one half of Rome whereas Sweden's Henrik Larsson seems to be a hero everywhere - probably even at Ibrox!
Some years ago he shaved off his Gullit-style dreadlocks and got down to business.
And Larsson's business is scoring goals.
He bagged them with unfailing regularity during his spell at Celtic and his worth was so great, he even made Chris Sutton and John Hartson look half-decent players.
His first goal in the 5-0 drubbing of an unfortunate Bulgaria in Lisbon was typical Larsson, a bullet diving header from a player often the smallest in the penalty area when the cross comes in.
The two sets of Scandinavians were the day's achievers, building cleverly on a core of unfussy unity.
If Italy cannot match their togetherness, the Azzurri may be making a shock early journey home from Portugal.
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