Cheeky left punch drunk - again

  • By: Cheeky Punt
  • Last Updated: April 1 2014, 9:09 BST

Many have tried, but nobody has succeeded in taking his crown. The inimitable Cheeky Punt takes you through his weekly betting lows and highs with the original punting blog.

Martin Ward (r): Cut proved costly for Cheeky
Martin Ward (r): Cut proved costly for Cheeky

I fancied Manchester City to beat deadly rivals United for my life last Tuesday and doubled them at 6/5 with Arsenal, who were 8/15 to see off Swansea at home.

The City result was rarely in doubt once Edin Dzeko put them 1-0 in front inside a minute at Old Trafford. They eventually strolled to a 3-0 win but elsewhere Arsenal were giving me cause for concern. 1-0 down at home to a Wilfred Bony goal they were still trailing with less than 20 minutes left. Two goals in a minute changed the mood at the Emirates and in Chez Punt.

I was buzzing but still had a feeling of impending doom so when the clock hit 85 minutes I decided to 'cash out' and trousered a £308 return. Incredibly Swansea then equalised thanks to a farcical own goal in injury-time to leave Arsenal's title challenge dead in the water and me doing a set of 20 joyful press-ups in the front room.

My luck wasn't to last, however. On Thursday I had a big punt on Sri Lanka to beat England in the World Twenty20 cricket. And after watching them post 189 for four I was convinced that total would be too much for a mediocre England side to chase down, especially when England lost two wickets without putting a run on the board.

At that point Sri Lanka hit 1/12 in-running and it looked all over bar the shouting.

However, I didn't factor in Alex Hales going absolutely nuts. The Nottinghamshire man smashed a sensational 116 from just 64 balls to get England over the line with four balls to spare. It was a savage knock and such aggressive batting produces something of a financial meltdown on Betfair, where £5.8million was matched on Sri Lanka at 1.20 or lower.

On Saturday all roads lead to Newcastle, where a bloke I am friendly with called Martin Ward was aiming to become the first traveller in history to win a boxing world title. He was boxing Stuart Hall for the IBF bantamweight crown and a huge crowd had assembled at the Metro Arena.

It was a lively old day and I saw three street fights en route to the venue, none of which seemed to be sanctioned by the IBF. The beer was flowing from mid-afternoon but my mood took a turn for the worse when news reached me that Arsenal had equalised at home to Man City. I'd invested in a £100 treble paying 5/1 earlier in the day consisting of City, Manchester United and Southampton. When that bit the dust me and 'The Big Woodowski' split £550 on Frankie Gavin to stop a kid called Sacky Shikukuto inside the distance at 4/11. Sacky bravely held on to hear the final bell and at that point it was fair to say I was up Shikukto Creek without a paddle.

Worse was to follow though. I had £250 on Ward to win the main event at 11/4 only for him to sustain a terrible cut and be ruled out early in round two. Most firms voided the contest (which was officially a no decision) but in their wisdom Ladbrokes decided to settle the fight as a draw. That news led me to drink and into more conflict with 'er indoors, who banished me to the couch after I fell through the door at 11.45pm after blasting my way through 15 pints of Stella and several double-gin chasers.

Cheeky's Punt of the Week: Long Run to win the Grand National at 14/1 (Paddy Power).