No owls of laughter from Cheeky
Many have tried, but nobody has succeeded in taking his crown. The inimitable Cheeky Punt takes you through his weekly betting lows and highs with the original punting blog.
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Last Tuesday was a truly awful day. It started with a couple of horse selections from Southwell that went awry. I then followed that up with two equally poor tennis bets.
These losses inevitably sent me into chasing overdrive and I ended up slamming an unfeasibly large wedge of cash on both teams to score in the Manchester City - Barcelona match. That didn't go well. But then if you insist on putting Martin Demechelis (a ringer for Eastenders stalwart Nick Cotton in terms of looks and, sadly, pace) up against the world's greatest player in Lionel Messi, you probably deserve everything you get. A 2-0 home defeat meant two things:
1. Man City are near certainties to be eliminated from this season's Champions League.
2. I will be eating out of bins for the next few weeks.
The peaks and troughs of hardcore gambling are outrageous. A month ago I could do no wrong and was treating myself to new rig outs and spa weekend breaks in expensive hotels. The day after the Man City - Barcelona debacle I was googling 'Are owls expensive?'.
Let me explain. There is a big barn owl that lives in a tree opposite my house and I was hatching a plan that involved me catching it and then selling it on to a Terry Nutkins type to try and get a bit of dough in before Cheltenham.
For the record they aren't very expensive and the plan was doomed to fail anyway after 'er indoors put the block on me keeping it with her budgie Fernando until I found a buyer.
I finally received a bit of good news in the week when I discovered a £175 ante post Cheltenham bet I had placed on The Tullow Tank before Christmas had been refunded by those fine people at bet365 after the Irish raider's shock withdrawal from the Festival.
The money would go a long way towards making sure I was fed and watered until payday on March 14. At least it would if I hadn't immediately gambled a ton of it on Phil Taylor to beat Peter Wright at 4/7 in the Premier League darts. The Power had won all nine previous matches against Wright but slumped to a 7-4 defeat to the outrageously attired 'Snakebite'. It's apparently the first time Taylor has lost four games on TV in a row. And also the first time to my knowledge he had lost to a man wearing clown pants.
Cheeky's Punt of the Week: Spain to win the Eurovision Song Contest at 20/1 (Paddy Power)